Hmm, first time I've put a title in the title other than the day count. Reason? Because ever since we found out C has cancer, all days have led to tomorrow - the day we find out whether the treatment he's been having is working. It's all come down to tomorrow's appointment with Dr M, the oncologist - whether it's worked and we continue, or it hasn't and...well you can fill in the blanks. I've really felt it the last week or so and the stress of waiting for tomorrow has got to me. To his immense credit C has coped much better - stoically saying that "What will be, will be" and not getting himself wound up about it. I've done enough of that for both of us anyway! It's difficult to know how to feel about the outcome...if the treatment is working, then it should continue, which is great and will buy C more time but at the cost of his health for four weeks out of every six. I guess that the alternative is so much more bleak that this option seems definitely preferable. So we'll see....
Things have plodded on as usual other than this waiting game. Romilly is putting things in place for her anticipated move to the mainland (something else I'm getting stressed about) and is knuckling down to do the necessary to finish her college course so she can get her full qualification. C, being off treatment, has been out and about more, catching up with former work colleagues, family and chores - he even felt well enough to wield his chainsaw at his sister's today! Unfortunately the weather has meant that he hasn't been out as much as he'd like but hopefully that will change. The garden is starting to come to life now, and the bulbs I planted last October are starting to shoot; this small thing is so meaningful, as when I bought those bulbs last September C wasn't sure he would be here to see them bloom...well he is, and it's a major notch in his belt of achievement fighting this cancer. Crocuses never looked so beautiful....
Meanwhile things on the choir front are hotting up; there are lots of 'gigs' coming up which means going over former repertoires as well as learning the new one for the July concert. We are entering the Ventnor Music for Fun Festival again, which is at the beginning of March, and also have quite an exciting concert in mid April with a well known singer....details to follow on that as I've been told they haven't officially been released yet so it has to stay hush hush!!
Romilly and I spent a nice girly Saturday afternoon doing what we do best - shopping!! It was annual bra shopping day and she's the best person to take along - not only is she very good at helping me choose non-granny underwear, but she can also nip out and find different sizes as necessary (amazing how much boob size can fluctuate according to which bra type you go for....) This year's 'in' bustenhalter is the balcony - no, not anything to do with the tacky nightclub on Ryde seafront, but a very nice design which hauls everything into the middle and up slightly, where it used to be when I was young, thin and pre-motherhood. Very pretty and comfy, and nicely reminiscent of my younger days, with just a little more engineering to get the same effect!!! Of course these days it's all about matching top and bottom, so it's time for an underwear cull or my drawer won't close...but enough about that now. Probably TMI!
My lovely curly haired friend Lis left work today - she's sat opposite me at work for the last two years and has been a breath of fresh air in the office. She is always upbeat, bubbly, cheerful, cracks the most awful jokes you can't help laughing at, declared she's not racist whilst having little digs at foreigners, and generally been the kindest, most supportive workmate you could wish for. She's been a fabulous tower of strength to me over the last six months and things won't be the same without her. It was sad to see her go, but I know she's better off choosing to go now so she ends up in a job she wanted, rather than waiting for the axe to fall from The Poison Dwarf himself and be forced into something just to earn a wage. Good luck to her, and fate help the rest of us!
I had a migraine today. First one in months (last time I had one was on the choir tour at the beginning of August, which I think was due to being over tired and drinking too much!) Today's was as bad a headache as I've had for years; analgesics didn't touch it and it took the best part of the morning for me to be able to open my eyes properly and not feel like throwing up. I couldn't go home - I didn't want to miss saying goodbye to Lis - so I stuck it out and eventually had to go and sit in my car for a cat nap to try and relieve it. It went eventually...but I guess it's a sign that everything I've got going on right now is just getting too much. Hopefully after tomorrow I'll have a better idea of where we are with C's illness, and can at least have a plan for one part of my life, his life, and our kids. Fingers crossed.
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