Apologies - I've got behind again!! There has been a lot going on so I haven't been as up to date as I'd like; note to self - must do better!!
Today was a day for get-togethers - as Big Brother Chris was still on the Island I went over to collect him from Carol's house; on arriving I found them both ensconced on the sofa with cups of tea, the detritus of online genealogy (their laptops) surrounding them!! They had apparently spent the previous evening, on in each corner of the sofa, doing their family history research like a pair of geeks!!! Carol's friend Lou arrived while I was there - she's Swedish but has live here for ages, having married one of Carol's friends back in the 70s. I haven't seen her in ages so it was nice to chat again.
Took Chris back to ours, and we went out for lunch - C suggested The Sloop, by which he means The Folly, so we headed off; it's a lovely place to have lunch, as I've mentioned before, right on the river and the food is amazing - it's just a bit of a trial getting there as the road down to it is very very potholed!! Fine when I had my jeep, but in an ordinary car it's a bit bumpy! I am loving my new car though; she's very nippy and wonderfully cheap to run compared to poor old Gregory - plus she has a good CD player which I am now using, sadly you may think, to practise some of the John Rutter carols we are doing for the Christmas concert. There have been many Thursdays lately when I have driven to Newport and back again over the Downs trilling merrily along to the Shepherd's Pipe Carol (known affectionately in choir as, you guessed it, the Shepherd's Pie Carol).
Chris and I took the dogs up on Culver and it was nice to catch up with each others' news - he knows what it's like to be the partner of someone who is seriously ill, as his girlfriend has sadly been in ill health for quite a long time. We have a lot in common, which is lovely considering we've been apart for the last 43 and a half years; it's such a shame that one of the strongest bonds we have is because of the suffering of our partners, we'd both wish it different for their sakes. Time came too soon again to drop him to the train station for his return to the mainland.
I spent the evening out with some friends from choir - they've been such a boost for me, especially over the last few weeks, and it's lovely to go out and talk properly together; we usually have to squeeze in quick 'Hello, how are you?'-s during the beginning/interval/end at choir rehearsals every Thursday! My lovely daughter was my lift home, and for Vicki too, so we had a lovely few drinkypoos at the pub, there was background music, and we laughed a lot too - a really really relaxing evening, which fortified me again for my day to day existence. If any of you read this - thank you !! x
My evening out meant that C was alone; it's not easy for me to leave him on his own (Romilly was out too) and I do worry that he will sit and brood. However he found some footie to watch on TV which seemed to have kept him occupied, and as he gets tired easily he had a fairly early night again. Rom and I got back to find him stretched out in bed, half covered, with Sidney snuggled in - he has lost some weight (C, not Sidney) and when he's asleep he looks peaceful, but vulnerable, and although we can wrap him in the duvet at night to keep him safe and warm, we wish it was as easy to do the rest of the time....
Sunday, 10 October 2010
Friday, 8 October 2010
D Day + 56: Thursday 7 October 2010 - En Famille Encore
I saw my big brother, Chris, today. He is down visiting for a couple of days. Some of you may be wondering how and when I managed to acquire an older brother, me having been the eldest for most of my life. Well in a nutshell, mum had a baby when she was 18 and her father made her give the baby up for adoption; after his adoptive father died in May 2009 Chris decided to try and trace his birth family, registered on Ancestry (the online genealogy site) to start the family tree, which threw up matches with mine and my aunt Carol's, and bingo - he had a contact. We met up for the first time ever on 20 December last year and it's been a whirlwind ever since!! He lives on the mainland but gets down to see us about every six weeks or so, and we're still catching up. Kealy and I also managed to track down his natural father, who now lives in France, and presented Chris with those details for his 45th birthday in May this year - they've been in touch, have met up when Chris went to France, and that all seems to be going well too. What a story - I've told Chris he has to write a book about it one day!! And he also now has a very impressive collection of surnames.....
Anyhow, C and I, along with Kealy and Toby, went over to Carol's house where Chris is staying, for a couple of hours catch up etc. Carol's house is lovely - she has a big open plan area downstairs where people just tend to arrive and gather; it has a lovely atmosphere and you always feel welcome. It's easy to sit there all day nattering!! It was also nice for C to get out again and see other family, as we haven't done much of that lately. He seemed to cope really well and was quite upbeat again; then home for a flop on the sofa!! Afternoon naps, how cosy, I must get into those...
Tonight was choir again - we're cracking on with the Christmas repertoire and it seems to be going well. Good job really, because it isn't that many rehearsals until the concert on 13 December (got your tickets yet??), which will creep up in no time! We've got quite a few other things to do as well before then, which means brushing up on three other repertoires before performing them. Busy busy busy....
Anyhow, C and I, along with Kealy and Toby, went over to Carol's house where Chris is staying, for a couple of hours catch up etc. Carol's house is lovely - she has a big open plan area downstairs where people just tend to arrive and gather; it has a lovely atmosphere and you always feel welcome. It's easy to sit there all day nattering!! It was also nice for C to get out again and see other family, as we haven't done much of that lately. He seemed to cope really well and was quite upbeat again; then home for a flop on the sofa!! Afternoon naps, how cosy, I must get into those...
Tonight was choir again - we're cracking on with the Christmas repertoire and it seems to be going well. Good job really, because it isn't that many rehearsals until the concert on 13 December (got your tickets yet??), which will creep up in no time! We've got quite a few other things to do as well before then, which means brushing up on three other repertoires before performing them. Busy busy busy....
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
D Day + 55: Wednesday 6 October 2010 - Reminiscences
I've been remembering things today; not run of the mill 'Oh crap I've forgotten to...' things, but memories of days past, mostly linked to Romilly, me and C. I don't know if this is because summer is at an end and we're into autumn, or because my perspective on life has changed since C was diagnosed, or because I've spent so much time at home recently that I've had a chance to let my mind wander. Or all three. But anyhow, memories of the past keep coming back and making me smile, if somewhat sadly at times. Because when think back you realise how much has changed and how much you've lost - now I'm not getting all morbid and morose here, not wishing things were the same or that they're worse now (although in some cases they clearly are worse). For instance, the span of my daughter's life - how she is now compared to how I remember her being at different stages; for some reason when I bring her to mind she's always about 4 or 5, with white blonde, unruly, curly hair and a cheeky smile, just finding her confidence; I can hear how her voice sounded then - whether she was laughing, whining or being bossy!!! And how grown up she has always been, and how proud of her I am. In my job I am aware of so many children who have problems which are plainly and simply down to the fact that their parents can't be bothered with them - I am so proud that Romilly has turned out as a mature, confident, independent, assertive, beautiful young woman, and that C and I have helped to make her that way. I'm also aware that right now, deep inside, she is frightened for her daddy, and trying not to show it. Even though she's 18 I still wish I could wrap her in cotton wool sometimes...like right now.
Anyhow...we had a nice day today, helped again by the fabulous autumn weather. We took a trip to Firestone Copse to walk the dogs - it's a nice flat walk which C could manage quite well - and to collect pine cones. I haven't done this for years, but used to a lot when Romilly was little - she used to get so excited as spotting them, for the first half dozen anyway, and when they cracked open at home as they got warm it was such a source of amusement! Having got round the one mile forest walk we unpacked the Land Rover and sat in the sunshine to have lunch. I'd brought proper nammet - for those of you who aren't caulkhead, I'll explain what this is: Nammet is an Isle of Wight term, derived from the words 'no meat' which related to the lunch that working chaps used to eat, consisting of bread, cheese and onion (old style 'ploughman's lunch' if you like) but no meat - they had that in the evening. So nammet we had - bread, cheese, pickled onion, tomato, and a large tin mug full of hot tea made on the amazingly useful mini gas stove C bought a while ago. We even have a proper old kettle! It was all delicious, and the sun was warm on our backs, and it was peaceful...proper nice nammet nipper. We even broke out the new tin mug Jill had bought for C for just such an occasion...
Anyhow...we had a nice day today, helped again by the fabulous autumn weather. We took a trip to Firestone Copse to walk the dogs - it's a nice flat walk which C could manage quite well - and to collect pine cones. I haven't done this for years, but used to a lot when Romilly was little - she used to get so excited as spotting them, for the first half dozen anyway, and when they cracked open at home as they got warm it was such a source of amusement! Having got round the one mile forest walk we unpacked the Land Rover and sat in the sunshine to have lunch. I'd brought proper nammet - for those of you who aren't caulkhead, I'll explain what this is: Nammet is an Isle of Wight term, derived from the words 'no meat' which related to the lunch that working chaps used to eat, consisting of bread, cheese and onion (old style 'ploughman's lunch' if you like) but no meat - they had that in the evening. So nammet we had - bread, cheese, pickled onion, tomato, and a large tin mug full of hot tea made on the amazingly useful mini gas stove C bought a while ago. We even have a proper old kettle! It was all delicious, and the sun was warm on our backs, and it was peaceful...proper nice nammet nipper. We even broke out the new tin mug Jill had bought for C for just such an occasion...
C with The Mug, nammet, and snazzy gas stove and kettle
The Mug has the slogan 'Keep Calm and Carry On' emblazoned on it - something to use as a mantra as Jill has suggested; bloody good idea.
Once home C got a call from a former colleague of his - Robert - who was over on the Island and rang to see if he could drop in. It was lovely to see him again (haven't seen him for years!) and he and C spent a couple of hours nattering and catching up. It really did C good - I've said this before, it's so nice for him to see other people and talk about normal things!! Romilly and I left them to it and spent a pleasant and highly amusing hour going through a country cottages brochure, doing accents depending on where in the country the cottages were...which got a bit silly as we couldn't drop the Welsh accent after a while to all the cottages after that were described in the 'voice of the valleys' despite being in Cornwall, Devon etc. Much mirth!!!! There are three standard phrases for the Welsh accent (according to my Dad): "Look you isn't it", "Whose coat is this jacket" and one I will not relate here as it's a bit iffy. We also managed the words 'cracking' and 'lovely' in fairly passable Tom Jones.
It's early evening now and we've settled down in the lounge; casserole's in the oven, and I need to get some logs in and open some more wine (there is a lot of that going on at the moment - wine I mean). It's nice to be up to date; memory is so unreliable (and clearly in the past right now anyway) that at least I know I've got today right.
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
D Day + 54: Tuesday 5 October 2010 - The War Begins
Now we're all equipped with our anti-cancer drug, it was time to launch The Weapon. After a full breakfast (while I can still manage to get him to eat it) C was ready to take the first of his 28 day drugs - plus an anti sickness tablet to be on the safe side. I took it out of the packet and had a good talk to it: "Now look mate, your job is to get inside my husband, find that bastard cancer and kick its ass big time; I don't care how you do it, just do it quick, do it hard and don't mess up. We don't have another option, we're pinning our hopes on you sunshine, now go to it." And C swallowed the tablet; something inside me lit up like a Christmas tree - after all these weeks of waiting we finally had the means at our disposal to fight back against this cancer instead of hanging in limbo. When he swallowed that tablet it was like a victory - I know we have a long way to go, but at last we are waging war on this cancer and it felt DAMN GOOD!!! The good thing is that he hasn't had any side effects today, apart from what he's been going through anyway, which is getting tired quite quickly.
So off we went to do the Tesco shop again (it's Tuesday then, right?) which went well and was under £100 for a change. It does frustrate C that he can't lift the heavy shopping bags though; he worries that people will see me lugging them around and think he's mean - I counter that by saying I am not a wimpy woman and have these arm muscles for a reason, plus it's good exercise!!! And also of course if I'm lugging them down from the car, he can start putting the shopping away...score!!!
After lunch he was quite tired; he needed a toes up so went and had a power nap on the sofa while I caught up with emails and the like. Once up and about we packed the tea making kit and took the dogs over to The Duver, a nice flat walk that C could manage. Sidney was mental - I didn't get to take him out yesterday and boy was he ADHD on speed; never stopped running about and even did the fetching-a-stick thing which he doesn't normally do; I even got him in the water without a problem!! We opened the hut up and I made tea, and we'd brought fruit cake; we sat outside the hut with a mug of tea and slice of cake like a couple of old dears!!! People walking past do seem quite envious though...it is lovely to sit there and watch the world go by.
Home again and time to flake; C's mate Allan (got another mention there mate) rang up for a chat and some advice about difficult customers, many of which C dealt with in his time at the dealership. It's nice that he feels he can still be useful, it's something he struggles with as he doesn't have a lot to do these days, and Al always manages to cheer him up (thank you xxx).
Healthy dinner tonight, well for C anyway - salmon, rice and vegetables. I was quite happy with potatoes (Kettle Chips) and grapes (chardonnay) and crap TV - I've discovered this new series called Wedding House where couples sign up for a speedy wedding of their dreams. I love seeing how people like to get married, especially when it's something a bit different.
Romilly's out tonight, staying at Daniel's. C has gone to bed now - he's quite tired and I've managed to convince him finally that his old routine has to go and he must listen to what his body tells him about when he needs to rest; not an easy thing to accept when he's such a creature of habit.
And I'm typing the blog - as up to date as I've been for a while. It's been a challenge these last couple of weeks to keep up to date; I tend to forget what I did the day before so it's a team effort to remember, so it's a bonus to be able to do this now. Someone said to me recently that I must be doing okay as the blog always sounds so cheerful and positive - well I am okay, but the blog is only a snapshot of my day and there are lots of times when I don't put in what I'm feeling or what I've done. It's difficult to be really honest about things when you know your kids and family read what you type, so it is edited to a degree. This story is really about C, and that's how I want to play it. My part is minimal really, a supporting role if you like, C is the star. And I think you'd agree, if you knew how he'd been these last seven weeks, that he truly is a star.
Night night.
So off we went to do the Tesco shop again (it's Tuesday then, right?) which went well and was under £100 for a change. It does frustrate C that he can't lift the heavy shopping bags though; he worries that people will see me lugging them around and think he's mean - I counter that by saying I am not a wimpy woman and have these arm muscles for a reason, plus it's good exercise!!! And also of course if I'm lugging them down from the car, he can start putting the shopping away...score!!!
After lunch he was quite tired; he needed a toes up so went and had a power nap on the sofa while I caught up with emails and the like. Once up and about we packed the tea making kit and took the dogs over to The Duver, a nice flat walk that C could manage. Sidney was mental - I didn't get to take him out yesterday and boy was he ADHD on speed; never stopped running about and even did the fetching-a-stick thing which he doesn't normally do; I even got him in the water without a problem!! We opened the hut up and I made tea, and we'd brought fruit cake; we sat outside the hut with a mug of tea and slice of cake like a couple of old dears!!! People walking past do seem quite envious though...it is lovely to sit there and watch the world go by.
Home again and time to flake; C's mate Allan (got another mention there mate) rang up for a chat and some advice about difficult customers, many of which C dealt with in his time at the dealership. It's nice that he feels he can still be useful, it's something he struggles with as he doesn't have a lot to do these days, and Al always manages to cheer him up (thank you xxx).
Healthy dinner tonight, well for C anyway - salmon, rice and vegetables. I was quite happy with potatoes (Kettle Chips) and grapes (chardonnay) and crap TV - I've discovered this new series called Wedding House where couples sign up for a speedy wedding of their dreams. I love seeing how people like to get married, especially when it's something a bit different.
Romilly's out tonight, staying at Daniel's. C has gone to bed now - he's quite tired and I've managed to convince him finally that his old routine has to go and he must listen to what his body tells him about when he needs to rest; not an easy thing to accept when he's such a creature of habit.
And I'm typing the blog - as up to date as I've been for a while. It's been a challenge these last couple of weeks to keep up to date; I tend to forget what I did the day before so it's a team effort to remember, so it's a bonus to be able to do this now. Someone said to me recently that I must be doing okay as the blog always sounds so cheerful and positive - well I am okay, but the blog is only a snapshot of my day and there are lots of times when I don't put in what I'm feeling or what I've done. It's difficult to be really honest about things when you know your kids and family read what you type, so it is edited to a degree. This story is really about C, and that's how I want to play it. My part is minimal really, a supporting role if you like, C is the star. And I think you'd agree, if you knew how he'd been these last seven weeks, that he truly is a star.
Night night.
D Day + 53: Monday 4 October 2010 - Acquiring 'The Weapon'
I've been in my current job eleven years today. I realised this this morning. I have a thing for dates sticking in my mind. It's been an interesting thought, and so much has changed along the way, but I am still very lucky in that I have amazing, friendly, supportive colleagues where I work and I am grateful on a daily basis for that. I also have ex-colleagues with whom I keep in touch and they have become good friends too - can't have enough of those at the moment.
Getting through the morning proved a bit of a challenge, knowing we had the appointment at the Chemo Unit at 2.30. Thankfully the golf started early, so C had something to focus on and take his mind off worrying - although he had had a bit of a down spell first thing (I think a pattern's emerging here; mornings are when he feels at his most vulnerable and emotionally fragile). We also spent a bit of time getting the veg and stuff ready for dinner - as I hadn't done a roast yesterday I was planning to get it ready for them today as Rom was in and Daniel was coming over. It's also a good opportunity to get more decent food into C, which I know is going to get more difficult over the next few months. As both of us were doing veg, it meant that one of us had to use the new peeler I bought at Ikea a while ago - now I am left handed, and cope admirably with the peeler we already have; unfortunately for me it's a dual handed peeler so it's fine for C to use as well, which meant that it was a race to the utensil drawer to see who 'drew the short straw' for the new one - it was me. There then ensued a quarter of an hour of trying to manoeuvre this peeler around some spuds - not a very satisfying activity for me as it ended up with me 'flaking' bits of peel off instead of doing it in a nice spiral as I usually do...mental note for next time: either get to the drawer first or get someone else to do the peeling!!
It was not easy leaving the house to go to the hospital, purely because the Ryder Cup was getting so nail-bitingly tense that we both wanted to watch it! We knew we'd miss the end of it so even having it on the car radio on the way was frustrating. We'd decided to get there early as the parking is a nightmare, especially in the afternoons as visiting time starts at 2.30 and our appointment was at, yep you guessed it, 2.30. We were very jammy however as someone was reversing out of a parking space just as I turned into the car park, so into the space I sailed and felt very smug watching other cars arriving and driving round the car park getting more frustrated. We managed to drag ourselves away from the golf on the radio, and went to get a cup of tea in the restaurant - I made the mistake of deciding to have a sandwich, as I hadn't had any lunch. The packet said it was egg and cress, it looked like egg and cress, but sadly that is where its relationship to egg and cress ceased - it tasted of nothing; I would have enjoyed eating the packet more. I have to admire the talent that sandwich maker has of creating the illusion of an egg and cress sandwich and managing to remove any semblance of flavour. Thank goodness the tea was okay!
We went off on time to find the Chemo Unit, which I am now going to affectionately call the Purple Palace - it's a lovely place, all clean and bright and airy, with comfy chairs (C promptly plonked himself in a mauve Laz-e-boy and started adjusting the seat position) a television discreetly in the background and windows all around. It almost felt like going into someone's new-build lounge, if you half closed one eye and ignored the electric IV pumps. Lovely place - it felt very calming and relaxed, which is how you want to feel, bearing in mind what you're there for. We were given a cup of tea and offered a nice posh biscuit, then met with one of the nurses there, who explained about the drug treatment and went through possible side effects etc, something they have to do so you're aware, although it's unlikely C will get all of them, and hopefully won't get any! She took all his information again (I swear we've done this three times already, but hey) and then gave us the drugs - he has the biotherapy drug, aka The Weapon, some anti-sickness medication and also some special mouth wash as mouth ulcers are a common side effect and this can help alleviate them. She also recommended that we monitor C's blood pressure daily so we went off and bought a machine to do that. We've also got what I call the 'Get Into A&E Free' card, which means that if C has any side effects of symptoms at night or over the weekend he can be seen as a priority case in A&E. Amazing how many doors this cancer can open....
Romilly was home when we got back, so we went through the whole thing with her so she knows what each drug is for and what we need to be aware of. We also tested out the blood pressure machine, which is a weird experience; that cuff gets really tight on your arm!!! We now have everything for C's treatment in a special box, including the diary we need to keep, and start tomorrow.
I was putting the finishing touches to the roast dinner when our lovely friend Deb appeared at the back door. She kept saying 'special delivery', which was nice as she is special (but it was a bit unusual for her to call herself that)...and when I turned around she was carrying a box of stuff. She said that she'd been asked to bring it in by my line manager at work - it was a box full of goodies for all of us, which my fantastically kind colleagues at work had put together; I burst into tears!!! I couldn't quite comprehend that they were so worried and concerned about me and my family that they'd do that, it was so touching and so amazingly generous that I went to bits (how wet, and there was me thinking I was holding it together - I collapse at the sight of such a lovely gift!). There was wine, chocolate, biscuits, popcorn, posh crisps and some DVDs - so so generous of them all and I can't thank them enough for such a wonderful surprise.
And so I had to leave all this activity (leaving Romilly to serve up and hope the dinner was okay and they didn't eat all the goodies from the box before I got back!) and go off to my choir sectional. Sopranos' turn tonight - the screechy lot - in Cowes. It's a really good boost for me to go to choir, even more so now. I also have wonderful friends in the choir, and when we all get together and sing it lifts the spirits like nothing else can. We worked hard on some difficult bits of the songs we're doing for Christmas and made some good progress; we are thrown a bit when we don't have the tune (which sopranos tend to have being the upper range of the choir) so it's extra frustrating!! We are so spoilt usually with lovely easy bits to sing! The two hours went by so fast; can't wait 'til Thursday now.
Home again and C was out for the count - he's been through the mill today emotionally, thinking about tomorrow when he starts taking the tablets. Bring it on....
Getting through the morning proved a bit of a challenge, knowing we had the appointment at the Chemo Unit at 2.30. Thankfully the golf started early, so C had something to focus on and take his mind off worrying - although he had had a bit of a down spell first thing (I think a pattern's emerging here; mornings are when he feels at his most vulnerable and emotionally fragile). We also spent a bit of time getting the veg and stuff ready for dinner - as I hadn't done a roast yesterday I was planning to get it ready for them today as Rom was in and Daniel was coming over. It's also a good opportunity to get more decent food into C, which I know is going to get more difficult over the next few months. As both of us were doing veg, it meant that one of us had to use the new peeler I bought at Ikea a while ago - now I am left handed, and cope admirably with the peeler we already have; unfortunately for me it's a dual handed peeler so it's fine for C to use as well, which meant that it was a race to the utensil drawer to see who 'drew the short straw' for the new one - it was me. There then ensued a quarter of an hour of trying to manoeuvre this peeler around some spuds - not a very satisfying activity for me as it ended up with me 'flaking' bits of peel off instead of doing it in a nice spiral as I usually do...mental note for next time: either get to the drawer first or get someone else to do the peeling!!
It was not easy leaving the house to go to the hospital, purely because the Ryder Cup was getting so nail-bitingly tense that we both wanted to watch it! We knew we'd miss the end of it so even having it on the car radio on the way was frustrating. We'd decided to get there early as the parking is a nightmare, especially in the afternoons as visiting time starts at 2.30 and our appointment was at, yep you guessed it, 2.30. We were very jammy however as someone was reversing out of a parking space just as I turned into the car park, so into the space I sailed and felt very smug watching other cars arriving and driving round the car park getting more frustrated. We managed to drag ourselves away from the golf on the radio, and went to get a cup of tea in the restaurant - I made the mistake of deciding to have a sandwich, as I hadn't had any lunch. The packet said it was egg and cress, it looked like egg and cress, but sadly that is where its relationship to egg and cress ceased - it tasted of nothing; I would have enjoyed eating the packet more. I have to admire the talent that sandwich maker has of creating the illusion of an egg and cress sandwich and managing to remove any semblance of flavour. Thank goodness the tea was okay!
We went off on time to find the Chemo Unit, which I am now going to affectionately call the Purple Palace - it's a lovely place, all clean and bright and airy, with comfy chairs (C promptly plonked himself in a mauve Laz-e-boy and started adjusting the seat position) a television discreetly in the background and windows all around. It almost felt like going into someone's new-build lounge, if you half closed one eye and ignored the electric IV pumps. Lovely place - it felt very calming and relaxed, which is how you want to feel, bearing in mind what you're there for. We were given a cup of tea and offered a nice posh biscuit, then met with one of the nurses there, who explained about the drug treatment and went through possible side effects etc, something they have to do so you're aware, although it's unlikely C will get all of them, and hopefully won't get any! She took all his information again (I swear we've done this three times already, but hey) and then gave us the drugs - he has the biotherapy drug, aka The Weapon, some anti-sickness medication and also some special mouth wash as mouth ulcers are a common side effect and this can help alleviate them. She also recommended that we monitor C's blood pressure daily so we went off and bought a machine to do that. We've also got what I call the 'Get Into A&E Free' card, which means that if C has any side effects of symptoms at night or over the weekend he can be seen as a priority case in A&E. Amazing how many doors this cancer can open....
Romilly was home when we got back, so we went through the whole thing with her so she knows what each drug is for and what we need to be aware of. We also tested out the blood pressure machine, which is a weird experience; that cuff gets really tight on your arm!!! We now have everything for C's treatment in a special box, including the diary we need to keep, and start tomorrow.
I was putting the finishing touches to the roast dinner when our lovely friend Deb appeared at the back door. She kept saying 'special delivery', which was nice as she is special (but it was a bit unusual for her to call herself that)...and when I turned around she was carrying a box of stuff. She said that she'd been asked to bring it in by my line manager at work - it was a box full of goodies for all of us, which my fantastically kind colleagues at work had put together; I burst into tears!!! I couldn't quite comprehend that they were so worried and concerned about me and my family that they'd do that, it was so touching and so amazingly generous that I went to bits (how wet, and there was me thinking I was holding it together - I collapse at the sight of such a lovely gift!). There was wine, chocolate, biscuits, popcorn, posh crisps and some DVDs - so so generous of them all and I can't thank them enough for such a wonderful surprise.
And so I had to leave all this activity (leaving Romilly to serve up and hope the dinner was okay and they didn't eat all the goodies from the box before I got back!) and go off to my choir sectional. Sopranos' turn tonight - the screechy lot - in Cowes. It's a really good boost for me to go to choir, even more so now. I also have wonderful friends in the choir, and when we all get together and sing it lifts the spirits like nothing else can. We worked hard on some difficult bits of the songs we're doing for Christmas and made some good progress; we are thrown a bit when we don't have the tune (which sopranos tend to have being the upper range of the choir) so it's extra frustrating!! We are so spoilt usually with lovely easy bits to sing! The two hours went by so fast; can't wait 'til Thursday now.
Home again and C was out for the count - he's been through the mill today emotionally, thinking about tomorrow when he starts taking the tablets. Bring it on....
Monday, 4 October 2010
D Day + 52: Sunday 3 October 2010 - Golf, Tears and a little bit of Choir
By the time I woke up this morning C had been up for a few hours; he didn't have a great night, and was awake around 6am. This meant he'd had time to dwell, in the quiet hours of the early morning, on his illness without anyone to talk to or cheer him up. I'm afraid this failing of mine to be able to get up in the mornings is proving a worry for me, as it means he's alone; and right now that's not a good thing. I made more tea/coffee and we sat in bed having a chat and cheer up, and he felt better by the time he went off to meet his mate Neil for breakfast.
Neil has been a pal of C's for years - they got to know each other through the car trade, and when No 1 worked at Esplanade a few years ago - and have been golf partners too. They've stayed in touch, and I know that Neil is a real boost for C and sees him most weekends. This is great for C - man talk, or waffle if you like, about things other than cancer. By the time he got back he was feeling much more upbeat and perky. They'd had breakfast at Briddlesford Farm - something I think will become a regular thing.....
The Ryder Cup was back on by early afternoon, so we sat and watched it - I have to confess to getting quite involved in it, which is unusual for me and I don't really do sport. But there was something about beating the Americans that was so appealing I wanted to watch it unfold! I think I found a favourite in Miguel Angel Jimenez - perhaps it was his calm demeanour and cheeky smile, perhaps it was that he has curly hair; who knows? Anyhow it was nice to sit with C and watch this, have him explain things to me (like the term 'dormy' which I think is akin in terms of being understood by women as the offside rule is in football). He's been quite cheerful this afternoon, which is lovely to see; we've discovered that the discomfort he sometimes experiences can be resolved by sitting more upright, so he decided to forgo the slumpy comfort of the sofa for his director's chair - problem solved, even Sidney seemed to approve!
Tonight was the long awaited viewing of the DVD of the choir tour to Brittany - we had planned to watch it back in September but there were technical problems getting it done, which thankfully Kieron (the choir pin up) had managed to resolve. The result was an hour and three quarters of wonderful memories, laughs, out takes we'd forgotten about and some fairly dodgy impressions by some members of others...to be worked out at our leisure. It was great to see everyone again, laugh together, feel proud and realise the enthusiasm for another tour - in 2012 though, to give us enough time to plan!! At the end of the evening I'd offered to take home (not with me I hasten to add, but to their homes) three of the chaps from choir - this meant a round trip from Newport, to Ryde, then via Ventnor back home to Brading. A fairly long trip perhaps, but it was worth it to hear them talking about stuff - I don't get to chat with them very often so it was nice to have that time. And I felt good for doing a good deed - but Saint Karen I ain't!!!!
Neil has been a pal of C's for years - they got to know each other through the car trade, and when No 1 worked at Esplanade a few years ago - and have been golf partners too. They've stayed in touch, and I know that Neil is a real boost for C and sees him most weekends. This is great for C - man talk, or waffle if you like, about things other than cancer. By the time he got back he was feeling much more upbeat and perky. They'd had breakfast at Briddlesford Farm - something I think will become a regular thing.....
The Ryder Cup was back on by early afternoon, so we sat and watched it - I have to confess to getting quite involved in it, which is unusual for me and I don't really do sport. But there was something about beating the Americans that was so appealing I wanted to watch it unfold! I think I found a favourite in Miguel Angel Jimenez - perhaps it was his calm demeanour and cheeky smile, perhaps it was that he has curly hair; who knows? Anyhow it was nice to sit with C and watch this, have him explain things to me (like the term 'dormy' which I think is akin in terms of being understood by women as the offside rule is in football). He's been quite cheerful this afternoon, which is lovely to see; we've discovered that the discomfort he sometimes experiences can be resolved by sitting more upright, so he decided to forgo the slumpy comfort of the sofa for his director's chair - problem solved, even Sidney seemed to approve!
Sunday, 3 October 2010
D Day + 51: Saturday 2 October 2010 - Stir Crazy
Oh how I hate housework. Hate it. But the down side to living in an old house is that it has a tendency to retain dust everywhere, and breeds its own cobwebs. And once you start lighting an open fire it just gets worse. So after a week's worth of horrible weather and being cooped up indoors I really had to get to grips with dusting and vaccuuming. Ick. Meantime, while I'm slaving away at home, C went off to see Jill - this is a total role reversal as he always did the housework and I was the one that went out!!! He came back armed with fresh carrots from Jill's garden, another book to read, and a tin mug she'd bought for our Land Rover picnics - very aptly emblazoned with 'Keep Calm and Carry On.' Which is exactly what we're trying to do!!
Progress with my iphone is slow - still no life in it really, which I am struggling to understand as the damn thing didn't even get that wet, it wasn't totally immersed, just in a dampish coat pocket. So why the hell it is struggling to get going is beyond me, and C, which is frustrating him big time. Another reminder of how you get used to something, only to be threatened with losing it - the story of my life right now! We're trawling the internet forums for tips, and keep trying them, so I hope we strike lucky; if not it looks like I'm going to have to shell out for a replacement, which is not good right now with finances having to be scrupulously watched. Ho hum.
C made lunch today - he did try to get out of it with the pathetic excuse that he doesn't know how to cook rice; this did not work and I told him in no uncertain terms that someone like him, who used to run a company, cannot get away with transparent attempts to evade making lunch. So he got on with it, and made lunch, and it was very nice. Hah. Gotta watch him...
With the weather being iffy again there isn't an awful lot we can do - you really don't feel like going out, but sitting around indoors makes you a little stir crazy, and there have been a few days like that this week already. I took the dogs out again, and as the Ryder Cup was back on again C sat and watched that. I guess we might have been a bit on edge as well because Romilly was on the mainland and on her way back, so we were waiting to hear that she'd got back safely. Which she did. Another quiet evening in then, punctuated with peaks and troughs of trying to get my iphone working - it's now back to life, but needs to be restored and won't complete when connected to itunes. Bugger. I think there's more of a problem with it than just getting damp...apparently the error message 1002 it keeps showing is something to do with a hardware problem, and it didn't get that from sitting in my coat pocket.
Progress with my iphone is slow - still no life in it really, which I am struggling to understand as the damn thing didn't even get that wet, it wasn't totally immersed, just in a dampish coat pocket. So why the hell it is struggling to get going is beyond me, and C, which is frustrating him big time. Another reminder of how you get used to something, only to be threatened with losing it - the story of my life right now! We're trawling the internet forums for tips, and keep trying them, so I hope we strike lucky; if not it looks like I'm going to have to shell out for a replacement, which is not good right now with finances having to be scrupulously watched. Ho hum.
C made lunch today - he did try to get out of it with the pathetic excuse that he doesn't know how to cook rice; this did not work and I told him in no uncertain terms that someone like him, who used to run a company, cannot get away with transparent attempts to evade making lunch. So he got on with it, and made lunch, and it was very nice. Hah. Gotta watch him...
With the weather being iffy again there isn't an awful lot we can do - you really don't feel like going out, but sitting around indoors makes you a little stir crazy, and there have been a few days like that this week already. I took the dogs out again, and as the Ryder Cup was back on again C sat and watched that. I guess we might have been a bit on edge as well because Romilly was on the mainland and on her way back, so we were waiting to hear that she'd got back safely. Which she did. Another quiet evening in then, punctuated with peaks and troughs of trying to get my iphone working - it's now back to life, but needs to be restored and won't complete when connected to itunes. Bugger. I think there's more of a problem with it than just getting damp...apparently the error message 1002 it keeps showing is something to do with a hardware problem, and it didn't get that from sitting in my coat pocket.
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