D Day + 55: Wednesday 6 October 2010 - Reminiscences

I've been remembering things today; not run of the mill 'Oh crap I've forgotten to...' things, but memories of days past, mostly linked to Romilly, me and C.  I don't know if this is because summer is at an end and we're into autumn, or because my perspective on life has changed since C was diagnosed, or because I've spent so much time at home recently that I've had a chance to let my mind wander.  Or all three.  But anyhow, memories of the past keep coming back and making me smile, if somewhat sadly at times.  Because when think back you realise how much has changed and how much you've lost - now I'm not getting all morbid and morose here, not wishing things were the same or that they're worse now (although in some cases they clearly are worse).  For instance, the span of my daughter's life - how she is now compared to how I remember her being at different stages; for some reason when I bring her to mind she's always about 4 or 5, with white blonde, unruly, curly hair and a cheeky smile, just finding her confidence; I can hear how her voice sounded then - whether she was laughing, whining or being bossy!!! And how grown up she has always been, and how proud of her I am.  In my job I am aware of so many children who have problems which are plainly and simply down to the fact that their parents can't be bothered with them - I am so proud that Romilly has turned out as a mature, confident, independent, assertive, beautiful young woman, and that C and I have helped to make her that way.  I'm also aware that right now, deep inside, she is frightened for her daddy, and trying not to show it.  Even though she's 18 I still wish I could wrap her in cotton wool sometimes...like right now.
Anyhow...we had a nice day today, helped again by the fabulous autumn weather.  We took a trip to Firestone Copse to walk the dogs - it's a nice flat walk which C could manage quite well - and to collect pine cones.  I haven't done this for years, but used to a lot when Romilly was little - she used to get so excited as spotting them, for the first half dozen anyway, and when they cracked open at home as they got warm it was such a source of amusement!  Having got round the one mile forest walk we unpacked the Land Rover and sat in the sunshine to have lunch.  I'd brought proper nammet - for those of you who aren't caulkhead, I'll explain what this is: Nammet is an Isle of Wight term, derived from the words 'no meat' which related to the lunch that working chaps used to eat, consisting of bread, cheese and onion (old style 'ploughman's lunch' if you like) but no meat - they had that in the evening.  So nammet we had - bread, cheese, pickled onion, tomato, and a large tin mug full of hot tea made on the amazingly useful mini gas stove C bought a while ago.  We even have a proper old kettle!  It was all delicious, and the sun was warm on our backs, and it was peaceful...proper nice nammet nipper.  We even broke out the new tin mug Jill had bought for C for just such an occasion...

 C with The Mug, nammet, and snazzy gas stove and kettle

The Mug has the slogan 'Keep Calm and Carry On' emblazoned on it - something to use as a mantra as Jill has suggested; bloody good idea.

Once home C got a call from a former colleague of his - Robert - who was over on the Island and rang to see if he could drop in.  It was lovely to see him again (haven't seen him for years!) and he and C spent a couple of hours nattering and catching up.  It really did C good - I've said this before, it's so nice for him to see other people and talk about normal things!!  Romilly and I left them to it and spent a pleasant and highly amusing hour going through a country cottages brochure, doing accents depending on where in the country the cottages were...which got a bit silly as we couldn't drop the Welsh accent after a while to all the cottages after that were described in the 'voice of the valleys' despite being in Cornwall, Devon etc.  Much mirth!!!!  There are three standard phrases for the Welsh accent (according to my Dad): "Look you isn't it", "Whose coat is this jacket" and one I will not relate here as it's a bit iffy.  We also managed the words 'cracking' and 'lovely' in fairly passable Tom Jones.

It's early evening now and we've settled down in the lounge; casserole's in the oven, and I need to get some logs in and open some more wine (there is a lot of that going on at the moment - wine I mean).  It's nice to be up to date; memory is so unreliable (and clearly in the past right now anyway) that at least I know I've got today right.