Evening all.
Well there's been lots going on again. I'm losing track, as ever, with what I've posted about and what I haven't; I just can't seem to hold much in my head anymore. Little surprise there I think....
Thursday was choir night again, second one last week as we did an extra on Monday. This time we tackled another new piece for us - The Lady in Red - for which Hannah has done an arrangement (which means she's written harmonies in four parts for the different sections). It took some getting down to I can tell you....still, once we've had a few stabs at it I'm sure it will, as ever, sound lovely - you'll have to let me know in July....
Friday I finished workd early as I was a bit worried about C - he's struggled with this round of treatment, feeling particularly tired and cold again, with the added downer of having a very acidy stomach. It's taken it out of him a bit this time I think, and he had to retire to bed on Friday lunchtime as he was so cold and tired. I came home early afternoon to find him tucked up in the back bedroom with Sidney, watching something on tv. He clearly needed to rest up, so that's where he stayed (once I'd managed to prise him out, get him into a warming bath and change the bedding before he got back in again) and it did him good - his BP was as low as it's been for a while and the next morning he felt much more rested. But it was worrying.
Romilly has been offered a contract for a job with TUI - which means she will have to move to Luton to be near their base at the airport there. I had been rather blase about her getting a job up there, thinking we had time to get used to it, she'd have to finish college etc etc; but no, they want her to start on 1 March - a mere four weeks away - and suddenly it's all very real and scary (for me). I never once in all her 18 years contemplated Empty Nest Syndrome happening this early. But I guess nothing's as it used to be, so come on life, chuck another change at me why don't you...I'm getting used to them!
We spent a fairly quiet weekend at home - I catch up on chores and things now I don't have so much spare time in the week - which was a good thing as C has been struggling (see above) and was feeling really rather low and tearful. This doesn't happen very often, so when he does get like that it's a bit of a jolt for me; he does need to let it out now and then, releasing the fear and anxiety about his situation...and this seemed to be the time. Bearing in mind what's going on in our lives right now quite frankly I'm surprised the pair of us aren't in bits more often - not only are we dealing with his life threatening illness (because let's face it, that's what it is in its barest terms), but my job (and therefore the majority of our livelihood) is under threat, and now Romilly is moving away; add onto that the fact that we have the scan tomorrow (remember, the one they told us over three months ago that he'd need to have to check out how the treatment is going - where the hell did those three months go?????) and then a review meeting with the oncologist on 17 February. So there it is; crunch time is approaching. I did wonder if it was worth trying to see the oncologist sooner, but as C said, what's the point? We'll find out soon enough what's happening, two weeks isn't going to make all that much difference one way or another.
We were having a discussion in the office today about my situation - and the girls asked me what medical and/or professional support I have to deal with all this. And I told them honestly - absolutely none. Nothing. I have no-one checking on us, offering us help, monitoring how things are going, suggesting ways to deal with the ups and downs, side effects. It's all down to me and C - we're doing this on our own, together. Just as we always do. So in a way we're lucky - we have each other to talk to, shout at, moan at, cry on...some people have to go through this alone. Be grateful for small mercies has never been more relevant, nor the fact that even when things seem so bad, there is always someone worse off than you. Even us.
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