It's amazing how quickly time seems to go by in some respects, but so slowly in others! It's Tesco day again, which has come round quickly - I never relish the thought of spending all that money just to realise that next week it will all have disappeared and I'll have to do it again! We had a bit of a pensive moment in the car - our appointment with the doctor on Thursday is preying on C's mind; he has never been someone with an idle mind and his illness has his mind whirling like the proverbial dervish most of the time. Trouble is that he takes a thought and runs all the way with it, practically deciding what the outcome is before we even get there. It's not a good process, but we had to talk it out and confront the (hopefully remote) possibility that we get bad news. I realise I have to keep him upbeat and positive, but dealing with a little reality now and then has to happen, we can't blinker ourselves to what this disease can do. Anyhow, we got there okay, lifted our chins and got on with the shopping - ironically to be confronted with someone C knows slightly (an ex customer of his from when he worked at the garage) telling us about how he was given three years to live (in 1995 so that was a good bit!) and what he's done to still be here today - bit of a downer on the one side as that is what C is confronting (a life threatening illness) but good on the other because this guy is still around despite what the docs told him. Thankfully C got the view of the light at the end of the tunnel and saw things in a positive way. I was really impressed - he is going through this horrible illness, has literally just got over a down spell in the car park, and coped so well with this guy's talk; hats off to my hubby!!
Didn't go mad with the shopping but my bank account is now over £100 lighter yet again!! I reconcile myself with the thought that there was a bottle of gin in there.....
We ventured out to Briddlesford Farm again today - the bread we'd bought there on Sunday was finished at breakfast today so we decided to get some more, and stop for coffee as well, while we were there. Very nice; must squeeze in a lunch there one day...On the way back home we got almost all the way back only to find that the road was closed off at the top of Bully's Hill. We parked the car in the viewpoint layby and walked down the road to get home, stopping to talk to the police guy on the way. Apparently a stretch limo had hit the bank and flipped onto its roof, so the recovery truck was there; thankfully there had been no passengers in the limo and the driver was not hurt. We decided to leave the car on the Down and collect it later.
Bren and Gem popped round this afternoon - Bren spent last weekend in Prague on a mate's stag do, which apparently went really well and they all had a great time; apart from getting back to the airport where Bren stood and watched the last bag going around the carousel...only to realise that it wasn't his.....Apparently they have now tracked it down and he should have it back before too long! Well at least he lost it on the way home, not the way there...the thought of spending all weekend in the same clothes, and underwear....not nice....!!!!
Went back up onto the Down to collect my car - C came too and parked up for a look off while I took the mutts on one of our favourite old routes, one we used to do on Sundays with my dad before he couldn't make it up hills any more. I haven't been up there in ages and it's really got overgrown now it was difficult to get through in places. Must go armed with a machete next time - kind of Kaz of the jungle type thing to clear a path!!!
I have a confession to make - I'm hooked on The Biggest Loser. Well, was hooked, as the series has finished now. I just love watching this programme because (a) it makes me feel REALLY thin and (2) it's amazing to see these people overcome their fears and problems to release the thin person they all know is inside them. Brilliant - the guy who won lost a total of 239lb - that's over 17 stone in weight. Amazing. It inspires me to keep walking, eating properly and not drinking too much - at least for a while....
Tuesday 28 September 2010
D Day + 46: Monday 27 September 2010 - An Uphill Struggle
Bit of a dip in mood today. Mornings are a bit of a struggle for C - when he's asleep he's obviously not thinking about how ill he is, but once the morning comes and he wakes up it hits him that he has cancer, and it can be a tough time to get positive and motivated - not every morning, some are worse than others, but we get there.
Jill and Arth popped in for a cup of tea - Jill brought over a book she'd found that C would enjoy, by a guy who was in Genesis before they were famous and who moved to a run down farm in Andalucia; it's the story of how he and his wife did the farm up, met the locals etc...something I'm sure lots of us dream about, an alternative lifestyle. (Especially right now).
Today we needed to get out and about - we'd spent too much time sitting around yesterday afternoon and evening, which doesn't do either of us any good mentally or physically - so an easy solution was to get a car picnic organised and get out. We took the mutts and all piled in the Land Rover. Luccombe Down (which I have called Ventnor Down previously but found out today I'd been wrong!) is a beautiful spot with fab views, so we headed that way. I got C to drop me and the mutts off at the car park by the Landslip tea rooms, and we marched across the road and up the near vertical slope; amazing views the higher you get up, but a lot less breath and energy with every step!!! My leg muscles got the workout of their life going up there...Sidney was charging around with his usual manic energy and disappeared ahead of me at one point - I whistled him back and he came charging out of the undergrowth at the top of the slope, only to realise that he was going downhill so fast he couldn't stop and skidded past me at a rate of knots...mad dog, but it made me hoot!!
On the topic of Landslip...there's a rock formation down there through which the footpath runs, which is called the Devil's Chimney. No 2 renamed this for eternity when he was younger however, as we used to go there with both boys quite a lot - the tea room was always a nice place to stop for ice cream etc, so No 2 would always ask if we could go back to the 'Devil's Nostril' if he was ever asked what he wanted to do. So, the Devil's Nostril it will remain!!!! Bit apt really, as it's very damp and green.....
Anyhow, we made it up to the top of the Down to find C parked up waiting for us - we had a wander along the top (it's easier for C to do level walking so he doesn't get too puffed) where Sidney had great fun darting about in the heather and bracken...he was pretty well camouflaged so see if you can spot him -
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and then back for a car picnic - sandwiches made with the Briddlesford Bread, the pickled onions, and flask tea. Marvellous stuff - simple things really are the best, aren't they?
Rom was back tonight, so while C watched a film he'd recorded I spent an hour or so up with her doing girlie stuff. It's been a lovely day; C is happiest when he's doing something simple and it's enough of a distraction without being too tiring. I just hope I can manage to keep thinking of things like this to do so we can keep going.
Jill and Arth popped in for a cup of tea - Jill brought over a book she'd found that C would enjoy, by a guy who was in Genesis before they were famous and who moved to a run down farm in Andalucia; it's the story of how he and his wife did the farm up, met the locals etc...something I'm sure lots of us dream about, an alternative lifestyle. (Especially right now).
Today we needed to get out and about - we'd spent too much time sitting around yesterday afternoon and evening, which doesn't do either of us any good mentally or physically - so an easy solution was to get a car picnic organised and get out. We took the mutts and all piled in the Land Rover. Luccombe Down (which I have called Ventnor Down previously but found out today I'd been wrong!) is a beautiful spot with fab views, so we headed that way. I got C to drop me and the mutts off at the car park by the Landslip tea rooms, and we marched across the road and up the near vertical slope; amazing views the higher you get up, but a lot less breath and energy with every step!!! My leg muscles got the workout of their life going up there...Sidney was charging around with his usual manic energy and disappeared ahead of me at one point - I whistled him back and he came charging out of the undergrowth at the top of the slope, only to realise that he was going downhill so fast he couldn't stop and skidded past me at a rate of knots...mad dog, but it made me hoot!!
On the topic of Landslip...there's a rock formation down there through which the footpath runs, which is called the Devil's Chimney. No 2 renamed this for eternity when he was younger however, as we used to go there with both boys quite a lot - the tea room was always a nice place to stop for ice cream etc, so No 2 would always ask if we could go back to the 'Devil's Nostril' if he was ever asked what he wanted to do. So, the Devil's Nostril it will remain!!!! Bit apt really, as it's very damp and green.....
Anyhow, we made it up to the top of the Down to find C parked up waiting for us - we had a wander along the top (it's easier for C to do level walking so he doesn't get too puffed) where Sidney had great fun darting about in the heather and bracken...he was pretty well camouflaged so see if you can spot him -
.JPG)
and then back for a car picnic - sandwiches made with the Briddlesford Bread, the pickled onions, and flask tea. Marvellous stuff - simple things really are the best, aren't they?
Rom was back tonight, so while C watched a film he'd recorded I spent an hour or so up with her doing girlie stuff. It's been a lovely day; C is happiest when he's doing something simple and it's enough of a distraction without being too tiring. I just hope I can manage to keep thinking of things like this to do so we can keep going.
D Day + 45: Sunday 26 September 2010 - The Briddlesford Experience
We met up with Deb and Robin this morning, at Briddlesford Farm for breakfast. They have a lovely tea room/restaurant at the farm - Bluebells - and the food is amazing, and most of it's local or from the farm. I've been filling C up on cooked breakfasts for the past few weeks, so I think he really enjoyed having something a bit different today - he went for the sauteed potates with red onion, crispy bacon and fried egg on top, which means he missed out on the amazing toast they do there from a delicious multi grain and seed bread. I had a vegetarian cooked version of Robin's full English, and Deb opted for tomatoes and mushroom on toast - she doesn't like eggs; bizarre...nothing like a beautifully fried freshly laid egg to get you started in the morning!!! We went and had a browse in the farm shop afterwards; I bought some of the aforementioned bread, plus some local tomatoes (lovely to find those still in season) and some pickled shallots. Bit pricey, but once we'd tried it all out for lunch it was well worth it - that bread is AMAZING; I could go on about it but hey, it's bread, so I won't....
We also visited the calves in their pens - so sweet and only about six weeks old. I told each and every one of them that I would never eat them, or their parents, or their brothers and sisters. I did debate whether I could get one in the back of the Clio, to take home to keep in Chickoland; if we'd had the Land Rover with us well...who knows!!
C went off to meet up with Neil again at lunch time - this is getting to be a nice, regular break for him and he spent a good couple of hours out talking 'guy' stuff presumably. He always comes back much cheered up from seeing his mates. It makes me laugh when men go on about how much women talk - get two or more blokes together and they're set for hours talking about, well, general man crap I suppose - I've never hung around long enough, or stayed awake long enough, to find out!!
Dad didn't arrive over here this afternoon - he usually spends Sunday afternoon/evening with us. If he's not coming over he rings to let me know, but hadn't, so I called him - bit weird really, he said he wasn't feeling well and was staying out of the way; I was just curious why he hadn't told me....Ah well, off day I suppose.
No 2 had lent us a DVD - The Hangover - and I decided we'd watch it tonight. We both needed a bit of a lift (this waiting around for appointments thing is taking its toll at times) and although C was a bit dubious about the film he, and I, really enjoyed it. There are some very memorable, hilarious bits in it that I keep remembering and giggling about...oh that guy Alan, brilliant!!!!!
We also visited the calves in their pens - so sweet and only about six weeks old. I told each and every one of them that I would never eat them, or their parents, or their brothers and sisters. I did debate whether I could get one in the back of the Clio, to take home to keep in Chickoland; if we'd had the Land Rover with us well...who knows!!
C went off to meet up with Neil again at lunch time - this is getting to be a nice, regular break for him and he spent a good couple of hours out talking 'guy' stuff presumably. He always comes back much cheered up from seeing his mates. It makes me laugh when men go on about how much women talk - get two or more blokes together and they're set for hours talking about, well, general man crap I suppose - I've never hung around long enough, or stayed awake long enough, to find out!!
Dad didn't arrive over here this afternoon - he usually spends Sunday afternoon/evening with us. If he's not coming over he rings to let me know, but hadn't, so I called him - bit weird really, he said he wasn't feeling well and was staying out of the way; I was just curious why he hadn't told me....Ah well, off day I suppose.
No 2 had lent us a DVD - The Hangover - and I decided we'd watch it tonight. We both needed a bit of a lift (this waiting around for appointments thing is taking its toll at times) and although C was a bit dubious about the film he, and I, really enjoyed it. There are some very memorable, hilarious bits in it that I keep remembering and giggling about...oh that guy Alan, brilliant!!!!!
Monday 27 September 2010
D Day + 44: Saturday 25 September 2010 - The Great Outdoors
Romilly asked if we could have another bonfire tonight - apparently Daniel had been envious of that last one we had, that he couldn't come to, so she wanted to repeat the experience so he could be there. Good idea; weather seemed like it would hold so that was the plan for the evening. More on that later.
Talking of fires, we've started to light the log fire in the lounge recently as the evenings have been getting a bit chilly; saves putting the heating on! When our chimney sweep was here last autumn he'd advised us to burn a cleaning log at some point before the next sweep, as there is evidence of a build up of creosote up the flue. We've seen this when it trickles down occasionally in small chunks - it's very shiny and black, and brittle. So we went to the local Scats to buy this special log. C loves Scats - it's one of those weird mixes of garden, pet, household cleaning, outdoor clothing, shooting, building, home ware stores that is a favourite of his (another is Hursts). You can buy most things from a bag of shotgun cartridges to a large box of washing powder, and everything in between, including the patented Chimney Cleaning Log (or CCL to give it its 'technical' name). We had to have a wander around first though; you never know what you are going to find in that shop and it's a real treasure trove of weird and wonderful things - and I found a nice waxed hat which will be just right for my wet walks (hoods are really not flattering at the best of times, and believe me when my hood is done up tight I look like ET when he emerged from the wardrobe....)
We'd noticed a lot of cars parked up at Arreton Barns on the way - it transpired that it is Terrier Racing this weekend and clearly as the weather was so nice it was attracting a large crowd (it was apparently part of the 'Sweetcorn Fayre' there - funny stuff sweetcorn; it's the only food stuff I know that comes out the other end in the same format as it went in the top end, if you get my drift...what's the point in eating it really?) We debated what it would be like to put Sidney in for the racing - he's a fast mover but as he's very easily distracted, and takes umbrage at dogs that run faster than him (he tries to catch them and nip their legs to slow them down, as Archie, Bren and Gem's dog, has found to his cost) so it probably isn't a good idea. Nice to imagine him in a little coat with a number on though, like the greyhounds, or don't they do that with terriers????
We took in a waif and stray today, in the form of No 2 - Christopher Jr was at a loose end as his mates and brother were all on their way to Prague for one of the friends stag nights, but for various reasons he was unable to go with them. So he turned up here to watch the football with his Pa - I took myself up the garden to split some logs as it gets a bit wearing listening to those to shouting at the TV. Log splitting - there's a chore, another one C would have done but can't at the moment. There's nothing like swining a 6lb long handled axe over your head time and time again to eliminate bingo wings; and give you arm ache into the bargain. But I did persist with it and managed to get three more barrow loads into the log store. This is definitely one chore I'm going to have to do in stages...I think I'll have forearms like Popeye before too long!
Did the usual Culver Down walk with the mutts again - C came for the ride and sat in the Land Rover looking off. There were loads of people up there this afternoon, enjoying the sunshine, which is lovely for them but sadly it's hassle for me as Sidney just doesn't know what to chase first - he made his choice pretty quickly though, and it took all the air in my lungs to yell him to come back from chasing the little boy who was trying to launch his kite...
Chich (No 2 - I've explained about the nickname before haven't I?) was still at ours when we got back - he decided to stay for the bonfire extravaganza. I went up around 5.30 with the equipment - firelighters, matches, kindling; sausages, potatoes, foil, forks, sharp knives, salt, ketchup, mustart, kitchen roll - and got cracking with the fire. I love fires. I love watching them and listening to the crackling they make - there's something very 'home on the range' about cooking over an open fire too. Rom arrived back with further supplies - cold beer; you CANNOT have an open fire without cold beer, it's the law. Dan arrived soon after, with further supplies (result!) and we spent a lovely few hours sitting around, burning sausages and eating jacket spuds out of foil, playing silly games - one of which, the lyric game, proved hilarious as there were three different generations and genres of music fans so it proved difficult to find songs we could all remember!!!
Talking of fires, we've started to light the log fire in the lounge recently as the evenings have been getting a bit chilly; saves putting the heating on! When our chimney sweep was here last autumn he'd advised us to burn a cleaning log at some point before the next sweep, as there is evidence of a build up of creosote up the flue. We've seen this when it trickles down occasionally in small chunks - it's very shiny and black, and brittle. So we went to the local Scats to buy this special log. C loves Scats - it's one of those weird mixes of garden, pet, household cleaning, outdoor clothing, shooting, building, home ware stores that is a favourite of his (another is Hursts). You can buy most things from a bag of shotgun cartridges to a large box of washing powder, and everything in between, including the patented Chimney Cleaning Log (or CCL to give it its 'technical' name). We had to have a wander around first though; you never know what you are going to find in that shop and it's a real treasure trove of weird and wonderful things - and I found a nice waxed hat which will be just right for my wet walks (hoods are really not flattering at the best of times, and believe me when my hood is done up tight I look like ET when he emerged from the wardrobe....)
We'd noticed a lot of cars parked up at Arreton Barns on the way - it transpired that it is Terrier Racing this weekend and clearly as the weather was so nice it was attracting a large crowd (it was apparently part of the 'Sweetcorn Fayre' there - funny stuff sweetcorn; it's the only food stuff I know that comes out the other end in the same format as it went in the top end, if you get my drift...what's the point in eating it really?) We debated what it would be like to put Sidney in for the racing - he's a fast mover but as he's very easily distracted, and takes umbrage at dogs that run faster than him (he tries to catch them and nip their legs to slow them down, as Archie, Bren and Gem's dog, has found to his cost) so it probably isn't a good idea. Nice to imagine him in a little coat with a number on though, like the greyhounds, or don't they do that with terriers????
We took in a waif and stray today, in the form of No 2 - Christopher Jr was at a loose end as his mates and brother were all on their way to Prague for one of the friends stag nights, but for various reasons he was unable to go with them. So he turned up here to watch the football with his Pa - I took myself up the garden to split some logs as it gets a bit wearing listening to those to shouting at the TV. Log splitting - there's a chore, another one C would have done but can't at the moment. There's nothing like swining a 6lb long handled axe over your head time and time again to eliminate bingo wings; and give you arm ache into the bargain. But I did persist with it and managed to get three more barrow loads into the log store. This is definitely one chore I'm going to have to do in stages...I think I'll have forearms like Popeye before too long!
Did the usual Culver Down walk with the mutts again - C came for the ride and sat in the Land Rover looking off. There were loads of people up there this afternoon, enjoying the sunshine, which is lovely for them but sadly it's hassle for me as Sidney just doesn't know what to chase first - he made his choice pretty quickly though, and it took all the air in my lungs to yell him to come back from chasing the little boy who was trying to launch his kite...
Chich (No 2 - I've explained about the nickname before haven't I?) was still at ours when we got back - he decided to stay for the bonfire extravaganza. I went up around 5.30 with the equipment - firelighters, matches, kindling; sausages, potatoes, foil, forks, sharp knives, salt, ketchup, mustart, kitchen roll - and got cracking with the fire. I love fires. I love watching them and listening to the crackling they make - there's something very 'home on the range' about cooking over an open fire too. Rom arrived back with further supplies - cold beer; you CANNOT have an open fire without cold beer, it's the law. Dan arrived soon after, with further supplies (result!) and we spent a lovely few hours sitting around, burning sausages and eating jacket spuds out of foil, playing silly games - one of which, the lyric game, proved hilarious as there were three different generations and genres of music fans so it proved difficult to find songs we could all remember!!!
Saturday 25 September 2010
D Day + 43: Friday 24 September 2010 - Easy Day
I finally got my act together this morning and got up and sorted in time to get a lift to the Downs with Romilly. I don't know why, but recently I am having the devil of a job to get up at a decent time in the morning - I used to get up at 6.15 and go power walking, but that's all gone out of the window since I've been back from the choir tour.
So I got a lift, with Sidney (the Kidney) to the middle of the Downs road so we could walk back to Brading for a bit of exercise. This has been something I've tried to do regularly, and today was a bit different because the grass as so wet! My trousers legs and boots got completely soaked, so by the time I got back to Brading Down I was sloshing about in my walking boots. Ick. Thankfully C had driven Monty the Land Rover up to the viewpoint so we got a lift back the rest of the way.
Nothing doing the rest of today - C's cough is giving him a bit of gip at the moment so he gets quite puffed out. We decided, after doing a couple of light chores, to light the fire early (the weather wasn'tup to much) and bunk down for a couple of episodes of Midsomer Murders - always good for a chill out as it doesn't matter much if you fall asleep in front of it, you'll always be able to pick it up no problem!!
A nice relaxing evening, and relatively early night really. Sounds boring I know, but ordinary and boring is welcome right now!!!
So I got a lift, with Sidney (the Kidney) to the middle of the Downs road so we could walk back to Brading for a bit of exercise. This has been something I've tried to do regularly, and today was a bit different because the grass as so wet! My trousers legs and boots got completely soaked, so by the time I got back to Brading Down I was sloshing about in my walking boots. Ick. Thankfully C had driven Monty the Land Rover up to the viewpoint so we got a lift back the rest of the way.
Nothing doing the rest of today - C's cough is giving him a bit of gip at the moment so he gets quite puffed out. We decided, after doing a couple of light chores, to light the fire early (the weather wasn'tup to much) and bunk down for a couple of episodes of Midsomer Murders - always good for a chill out as it doesn't matter much if you fall asleep in front of it, you'll always be able to pick it up no problem!!
A nice relaxing evening, and relatively early night really. Sounds boring I know, but ordinary and boring is welcome right now!!!
D Day + 42: Thursday 23 September 2010 - Catching Up
I went into work today - not to work, but to drop off my updated sick certificate and see all the lovely lovely girlies I work with. It's a sad thing that you don't realise how lucky you are until it's a bit late in the day, but going in to my place of work and seeing all those fabulous people really gave me a lift. Not only was it good to see the girls I share an office with - all of them: Kay, Lisa, Erin, Raquel, Chris, Erin, Issi, Charlotte - but the others that work in the same building that I used to see most days - Sharon, Carol, Suey, Jan; plus Kev who I shall name separately because he's not a girl. They are all amazing, and I miss them SO much, and they're all so supportive and encouraging and just so generally lovely I can't praise them enough. It was difficult going in to the office, but once there I felt so comfortable and, yes I'm going to say it, loved, that it was easy to stay longer than I'd planned just to catch up and drink them all in again for a while. I love them all.
C was out to lunch today with his friend Simon, who has been another stalwart supporter lately, and a long term friend to us both. He was really up beat when he got back to it was great for him to be able to get out again and see someone different. We both need lots of that!
It was choir night again tonight - I love Thursdays because of this; it's such an uplifting experience being in this choir (or any choir I'm sure). I think I've mentioned we're doing our Christmas rehearsals now, and singing these wonderful songs (even though I'm not remotely religious) is very inspiring. We went to the pub again afterwards, which is a bit of a tradition now, and it was great to spend time chatting to everyone again - we don't have a lot of time to catch up in rehearsal breaks so this is a really good opportunity. I must mention Hannah, Kieron, Tina, Sarah, Rich, Vicki and Hayley as they are usually there and we all get on so well it's nice to have a core family; everyone else is always welcome though.
And so to tomorrow, the end of another week; I was never one to wish away time, but I'm so keen to get us underway with treatment etc that I am wishing away time for next Thursday to get here a bit quicker!!
C was out to lunch today with his friend Simon, who has been another stalwart supporter lately, and a long term friend to us both. He was really up beat when he got back to it was great for him to be able to get out again and see someone different. We both need lots of that!
It was choir night again tonight - I love Thursdays because of this; it's such an uplifting experience being in this choir (or any choir I'm sure). I think I've mentioned we're doing our Christmas rehearsals now, and singing these wonderful songs (even though I'm not remotely religious) is very inspiring. We went to the pub again afterwards, which is a bit of a tradition now, and it was great to spend time chatting to everyone again - we don't have a lot of time to catch up in rehearsal breaks so this is a really good opportunity. I must mention Hannah, Kieron, Tina, Sarah, Rich, Vicki and Hayley as they are usually there and we all get on so well it's nice to have a core family; everyone else is always welcome though.
And so to tomorrow, the end of another week; I was never one to wish away time, but I'm so keen to get us underway with treatment etc that I am wishing away time for next Thursday to get here a bit quicker!!
Thursday 23 September 2010
D Day + 41: Wednesday 22 September 2010 - September Sunshine
We made the most of the September sunshine today as the forecast was predicting rain tomorrow. It was so hot outside it could have been the middle of August! I bit the bullet and decided to get out and tidy the front garden - we don't access the house from the front very often so it tends to get a bit neglected; so out came the lawn mower (how I LOATHE that job), the fork, hoe, secateurs and garden bin. I managed to persuade C to come and sit out there with me - he does get a bit fed up with not being able to do much though, and especially, so he tells me, when I'm slaving away! But a very pleasant couple of hours we spent out there and the results were great, but I'm sure it won't be long before the weeds start to take hold again, along with that damned onion grass that gets in amongst everything. Grrr.....
Jill rang and asked us if we wanted to meet up at the Quarr Abbey tea rooms; she and Arth were going to walk through from Wootton. We did meet up and it was lovely to sit in the sun in such a peaceful place. They have some lovely pigs in the abbey grounds and there were funny to watch, scrambling over each other for a bit of scone....!!!!
I went to the GP today for an update on my sick certificate - I actually saw my own GP this time, first time in ages, and obviously had to explain the situation again. He was very sympathetic and understanding, and thankfully for us he's given me more time off. It was a huge relief to know that I can be around at home for a bit longer.
Romilly was having an Ann Summers party at home tonight - needless to say it felt a bit weird sitting around with my daughter and her friends talking about and examining various products!!!! It did get easier after a couple of glasses of wine though!! I think I'd still be happier at one of Hayley's Partylite gatherings though...
Sat up talking to my lovely friend Deb until about midnight; we don't get to catch up very often where I'm off work and she's busy covering a vacancy in her team on top of her normal job. She's an amazingly calm person though, and manages everything she has to do with consummate ease and grace. Love her.
PS: I must give a mention to C's mate Alan, purveyor of dirty jokes and recent stalwart support; he reads this blog regularly - HELLO AL!! - and as I haven't mentioned him in it he was feeling a bit left out. C's known him for years through working at the Peugeot dealership (Al runs one on the mainland) and they've stayed in touch since C finished work. So here you go Al - your first mention on the blog, and I'll make sure there are more....x
Jill rang and asked us if we wanted to meet up at the Quarr Abbey tea rooms; she and Arth were going to walk through from Wootton. We did meet up and it was lovely to sit in the sun in such a peaceful place. They have some lovely pigs in the abbey grounds and there were funny to watch, scrambling over each other for a bit of scone....!!!!
I went to the GP today for an update on my sick certificate - I actually saw my own GP this time, first time in ages, and obviously had to explain the situation again. He was very sympathetic and understanding, and thankfully for us he's given me more time off. It was a huge relief to know that I can be around at home for a bit longer.
Romilly was having an Ann Summers party at home tonight - needless to say it felt a bit weird sitting around with my daughter and her friends talking about and examining various products!!!! It did get easier after a couple of glasses of wine though!! I think I'd still be happier at one of Hayley's Partylite gatherings though...
Sat up talking to my lovely friend Deb until about midnight; we don't get to catch up very often where I'm off work and she's busy covering a vacancy in her team on top of her normal job. She's an amazingly calm person though, and manages everything she has to do with consummate ease and grace. Love her.
PS: I must give a mention to C's mate Alan, purveyor of dirty jokes and recent stalwart support; he reads this blog regularly - HELLO AL!! - and as I haven't mentioned him in it he was feeling a bit left out. C's known him for years through working at the Peugeot dealership (Al runs one on the mainland) and they've stayed in touch since C finished work. So here you go Al - your first mention on the blog, and I'll make sure there are more....x
Tuesday 21 September 2010
D Day + 40: Tuesday 21 September 2010 - If it had been St Swithin's Day it would have stopped raining by now...
...but our 'rainy day' continues! It's been forty - 40 - days since the diagnosis. And still we wait. We asked ourselves today if this is right or acceptable - I'm firmly of the view that if someone has cancer the healthcare professionals should be moving heaven and earth to get the patient dealt with immediately. As it is we feel we have been pushed from pillar to post and fobbed off a lot of the time. Sitting around waiting for something to be done is frustrating at the best of times; when you're dealing with cancer it's immeasurably frustrating, scary, and takes its toll on your stress levels. And I'm not so sure it's going to be any easier when something starts to be done...today is Oncologist Day minus 9 and counting.
Romilly was in a bit of a rush this morning - she had to take Bruce (her car - see, she names hers too) in for an MOT test and would have to walk up to college from the garage; this meant getting into Newport in time to avoid the traffic, get to the garage and allow enough time to get to the college for 9am. She did it. Unfortunately Bruce is rather poorly and is going to need some remedial work so she's going to be Bruce-less for at least 24 hours - not an attractive option for an 18 year old girl about town!!! And not attractive for us either as we're going to have to foot the bill.....
It was Tesco day today - so we set off nice and early to get it out of the way. I do like supermarkets when they're nice and empty; really I'd be happy as a sand boy doing my shopping at 3am but I'm just never up at that time. This morning wasn't too bad though, although clearly we'd hit the popular hour for single OAPs and mothers with young children, as there were plenty of both. There's nothing like a screaming toddler filling the building with high pitched screaming to make you want to vacate via the nearest exit; I don't get it with parents these days - was my daughter an exception? Because she never behaved like that in any shop we ever went into - she never demanded something only to scream like a banshee when told no; she never ran around the shop getting in everyone's way and causing havoc amongst the trollies; and she certainly never left my sight. Someone needs to explain to some young mums (not all, I'm not generalising here) that the supermarket is not a bloody playground full of people supplied to monitor your child while you do your shopping. Or is that just me being daft??!!
We went to a local garden centre after that - C needed some spray weed killer to do damage in the garden; they've taken over and he hasn't got the energy to keep getting up and down to pull the buggers out. Roundup it is then! The cafe there does a fantastically delicious cheese scone, so we stopped for a cup of tea and had one. We also had a long chat about how things are going and how he's feeling; sometimes we need to have a cry together and say the things that we're usually too scared to - thankfully it was quiet there and no-one to see us. Letting the fear in for even a short time is, I think, beneficial in a way, but making it go away again is hard. You can't let the fear drag you down the pessimistic road; mentally and emotionally we have to stay strong - me especially as I see my role as propping C up in his fight to get well, and I can't crumble in my determination to see this through; I have to keep him going, keep him believing that this will be something we'll come through the other side of, and that he will be well again. The other option is no option at all. I remember in the past hearing people with life threatening illnesses saying all this, and thinking how brave they were - but now I'm in it I can see if for what it is; the absolute realisation that you cannot believe anything else. It would be like starting to learn a new skill, or a new diet, or a new job, and then an hour later giving up on it and saying you might as well as you'd be no good at it - you HAVE to try, you HAVE to give it all you've got and keep trying, because nothing worth having comes easily.
Today I had to tell someone new about C's cancer as she didn't know; she said she felt numb and didn't know how to react. I had every sympathy - that's how it gets you. And I thought I'd got used to telling people. I haven't - I still felt sick and upset and angry. Bloody disease.
Romilly was in a bit of a rush this morning - she had to take Bruce (her car - see, she names hers too) in for an MOT test and would have to walk up to college from the garage; this meant getting into Newport in time to avoid the traffic, get to the garage and allow enough time to get to the college for 9am. She did it. Unfortunately Bruce is rather poorly and is going to need some remedial work so she's going to be Bruce-less for at least 24 hours - not an attractive option for an 18 year old girl about town!!! And not attractive for us either as we're going to have to foot the bill.....
It was Tesco day today - so we set off nice and early to get it out of the way. I do like supermarkets when they're nice and empty; really I'd be happy as a sand boy doing my shopping at 3am but I'm just never up at that time. This morning wasn't too bad though, although clearly we'd hit the popular hour for single OAPs and mothers with young children, as there were plenty of both. There's nothing like a screaming toddler filling the building with high pitched screaming to make you want to vacate via the nearest exit; I don't get it with parents these days - was my daughter an exception? Because she never behaved like that in any shop we ever went into - she never demanded something only to scream like a banshee when told no; she never ran around the shop getting in everyone's way and causing havoc amongst the trollies; and she certainly never left my sight. Someone needs to explain to some young mums (not all, I'm not generalising here) that the supermarket is not a bloody playground full of people supplied to monitor your child while you do your shopping. Or is that just me being daft??!!
We went to a local garden centre after that - C needed some spray weed killer to do damage in the garden; they've taken over and he hasn't got the energy to keep getting up and down to pull the buggers out. Roundup it is then! The cafe there does a fantastically delicious cheese scone, so we stopped for a cup of tea and had one. We also had a long chat about how things are going and how he's feeling; sometimes we need to have a cry together and say the things that we're usually too scared to - thankfully it was quiet there and no-one to see us. Letting the fear in for even a short time is, I think, beneficial in a way, but making it go away again is hard. You can't let the fear drag you down the pessimistic road; mentally and emotionally we have to stay strong - me especially as I see my role as propping C up in his fight to get well, and I can't crumble in my determination to see this through; I have to keep him going, keep him believing that this will be something we'll come through the other side of, and that he will be well again. The other option is no option at all. I remember in the past hearing people with life threatening illnesses saying all this, and thinking how brave they were - but now I'm in it I can see if for what it is; the absolute realisation that you cannot believe anything else. It would be like starting to learn a new skill, or a new diet, or a new job, and then an hour later giving up on it and saying you might as well as you'd be no good at it - you HAVE to try, you HAVE to give it all you've got and keep trying, because nothing worth having comes easily.
Today I had to tell someone new about C's cancer as she didn't know; she said she felt numb and didn't know how to react. I had every sympathy - that's how it gets you. And I thought I'd got used to telling people. I haven't - I still felt sick and upset and angry. Bloody disease.
D Day + 39: Monday 20 September 2010 - The PJs reign supreme
Today was a bit weird. Weird in the sense that C spent all day in his pyjamas; all day. I don't remember him ever having done that before. He was really tired and just felt like loafing around not doing much; can't say I blame him really, he's been through a lot lately and has coped so amazingly well I think he's entitled to an odd day (I'm sure there will be many more of those to come).
I didn't get up to much either, just the odd bit of ironing, some housework and looking after C. Nice in a way because we'd had a busy Sunday.
Which all means that unfortunately there isn't much to put in the blog for today; certainly describing my domestic activities isn't going to cut it!!!
I did take the dogs out to Culver, again (I know, you're going to wonder why on earth I don't go anywhere else - truth is that (a) I love being up high with a view to look at, (b) the dogs don't have to be on a lead much up there so get to run around all the time, and (c) it's not far away from home. I parked up just next to where two people were flying kites - a 'mature' couple shall we say, in the sense that they were older anyway!! Not sure what they felt about having a Land Rover parked in their flight path though....
And I decided to go to the extra choir rehearsal tonight - these are always on Mondays and are specifically for different sections of the choir at a time, but Hannah says it's 'helpful' to have other parts there too for support. Tonight it was the tenors (mainly low voiced ladies and some chaps) but there were some basses, altos and three of us sopranos as well - Ruth, Roz and I doing our best to hit the high notes in the right places without sounding to screechy or scared at being so exposed!! It was a good session though, and as always gave me a real lift. It's also good extra practice and useful to see how your part fits in with the others.
C was already abed when I got back (and I wasn't late). He was suffering a bit and complained of dizziness; I think that's a lot to do with how regularly he eats as we'd had an early dinner and he hadn't had anything since. This called for an emergency bowl of corn flakes with lots of sugar, which seemed to do the trick. We're getting very good at organising small meals and snacks now...just need to get the timings right.
And so to bed....
I didn't get up to much either, just the odd bit of ironing, some housework and looking after C. Nice in a way because we'd had a busy Sunday.
Which all means that unfortunately there isn't much to put in the blog for today; certainly describing my domestic activities isn't going to cut it!!!
I did take the dogs out to Culver, again (I know, you're going to wonder why on earth I don't go anywhere else - truth is that (a) I love being up high with a view to look at, (b) the dogs don't have to be on a lead much up there so get to run around all the time, and (c) it's not far away from home. I parked up just next to where two people were flying kites - a 'mature' couple shall we say, in the sense that they were older anyway!! Not sure what they felt about having a Land Rover parked in their flight path though....
And I decided to go to the extra choir rehearsal tonight - these are always on Mondays and are specifically for different sections of the choir at a time, but Hannah says it's 'helpful' to have other parts there too for support. Tonight it was the tenors (mainly low voiced ladies and some chaps) but there were some basses, altos and three of us sopranos as well - Ruth, Roz and I doing our best to hit the high notes in the right places without sounding to screechy or scared at being so exposed!! It was a good session though, and as always gave me a real lift. It's also good extra practice and useful to see how your part fits in with the others.
C was already abed when I got back (and I wasn't late). He was suffering a bit and complained of dizziness; I think that's a lot to do with how regularly he eats as we'd had an early dinner and he hadn't had anything since. This called for an emergency bowl of corn flakes with lots of sugar, which seemed to do the trick. We're getting very good at organising small meals and snacks now...just need to get the timings right.
And so to bed....
Sunday 19 September 2010
D Day + 38: Sunday 19 September 2010 - En Famille
Oh cripes the bats this morning...the ones in my belfry; or simpler to say I was feeling the after effects of too much Stella last night. Whoof. Not good. Two cups of coffee down the line and I was brave enough to take an Anadin and some vitamin C. Ick; what happened to my resilience with alcohol?????
C went off to meet his mate Neil this morning - which I have affectionately named 'The Ipad Club' as they now both have them. It's good for him to meet up with other peeps and talk about other things; more meetings like that are most welcome!
I got on with the prep for the roast dinner - numbers were up to 10 now so this meant a mountain of spuds to peel; the Coles judge your roast dinner on the roast potato availability, so as long as there are plenty of them, you're more than likely on to a winner. I made an apple crumble, peeled spuds, carrots and parsnips and put the beef in the roaster. I also washed Charlie, clipped him, cleaned his ears and eyes, and dried him off. Rom did the vaccuuming downstairs and got the table sorted. Team work - C was impressed when he got back!!
My dad came over today - he hasn't been for a few weeks for various reasons. He's not one for discussing emotional topics, so never asks about C, so I told him what's been going on recently and I'm sure he stored this in his databanks for perusal at a later point. I am so not like him - I'm more of an up-front-let's-talk-about-it-and-cry-together kind of girl, get it out in the open. But it was nice to see him and he is brilliant in the kitchen when you've got a dinner-for-10 going on!!
Daniel and Chich came over to watch the footy with C; and Jill and Arth arrived around 4pm and got down to brass tacks with the weeding (which C had jokingly referred to when inviting them over for dinner and they, amazing as they are, rose to the challenge and came equipped with gardening stuff and attacked the top flower beds - thank you x). Bren and Gem arrived with Archibald the ADHD terrier, and we got to eat dinner bang on time - 5pm as predicted, thank you very much. Three courses later and everyone seemed content, my job was done!!
C was tired this evening; he nipped off for a nap while we were chatting over the remnants of cheese and biscuits. A power nap and cup of tea later and he's come to again, to watch Antiques Roadshow.
Rom's taken Dan up to A&E - he has a nasty looking, pussy (that's pus-like, nothing to do with cats) swelling under his big toe nail and his toe was swollen. Apparently he's had this before so they'll probably just drill through the nail (ick), drain it (ick again) and he'll be sorted. Thankfully he's managed to put away my three course roast dinner first so is well fortified for the onslaught.
So now I'm onto the cold beer and about to try and find something interesting on TV (not easy). A nice easy day today, relaxed and, as the title suggests, very much a family day. Jill and I even touched on the topic of Christmas...scary!!!
C went off to meet his mate Neil this morning - which I have affectionately named 'The Ipad Club' as they now both have them. It's good for him to meet up with other peeps and talk about other things; more meetings like that are most welcome!
I got on with the prep for the roast dinner - numbers were up to 10 now so this meant a mountain of spuds to peel; the Coles judge your roast dinner on the roast potato availability, so as long as there are plenty of them, you're more than likely on to a winner. I made an apple crumble, peeled spuds, carrots and parsnips and put the beef in the roaster. I also washed Charlie, clipped him, cleaned his ears and eyes, and dried him off. Rom did the vaccuuming downstairs and got the table sorted. Team work - C was impressed when he got back!!
My dad came over today - he hasn't been for a few weeks for various reasons. He's not one for discussing emotional topics, so never asks about C, so I told him what's been going on recently and I'm sure he stored this in his databanks for perusal at a later point. I am so not like him - I'm more of an up-front-let's-talk-about-it-and-cry-together kind of girl, get it out in the open. But it was nice to see him and he is brilliant in the kitchen when you've got a dinner-for-10 going on!!
Daniel and Chich came over to watch the footy with C; and Jill and Arth arrived around 4pm and got down to brass tacks with the weeding (which C had jokingly referred to when inviting them over for dinner and they, amazing as they are, rose to the challenge and came equipped with gardening stuff and attacked the top flower beds - thank you x). Bren and Gem arrived with Archibald the ADHD terrier, and we got to eat dinner bang on time - 5pm as predicted, thank you very much. Three courses later and everyone seemed content, my job was done!!
C was tired this evening; he nipped off for a nap while we were chatting over the remnants of cheese and biscuits. A power nap and cup of tea later and he's come to again, to watch Antiques Roadshow.
Rom's taken Dan up to A&E - he has a nasty looking, pussy (that's pus-like, nothing to do with cats) swelling under his big toe nail and his toe was swollen. Apparently he's had this before so they'll probably just drill through the nail (ick), drain it (ick again) and he'll be sorted. Thankfully he's managed to put away my three course roast dinner first so is well fortified for the onslaught.
So now I'm onto the cold beer and about to try and find something interesting on TV (not easy). A nice easy day today, relaxed and, as the title suggests, very much a family day. Jill and I even touched on the topic of Christmas...scary!!!
D Day + 37: Saturday 18 September 2010 - Friend, Fire and Forward Thinking
I met up with my lovely mate Shaz this morning; we went to a local garden centre (which has the obligatory tea shop attached) for a catch up. I haven't seen Shaz since the end of the summer term (end of July) as she works term time and I've obviously not been there recently. It was great to see her - she always cheers me up and we can natter till our jaws ache! The down side to it though was that she made me (yes, she really did) buy lots of stuff to make cards - Shaz does this regularly and it's lovely to get a personalised card from her on birthdays and Christmas, and she's very good - and the craft bit had lots of Christmas card making bits in, so off we went for a browse and it wasn't long before the shopping basked filled up...she's a terrible influence on me!!! It is good really though as it's something for me/C/Rom to do together and means I don't have to buy Christmas cards in a panic later.
Took the dogs up on Culver again this afternoon - C came along for the ride and a look off over Sandown Bay. It was lovely weather again, if a bit chilly in the breeze, and there were lots of people about making the most of it. C's been suffering a little bit today probably as a result of the biopsy as it's around the tumour site; he's also a bit sore across the diaphragm which we think is due to the cough, which is in full swing again. Rom changed the dressing on C's back this morning - not a pleasant experience as it was that really sticky stuff again and involved initial gentle peeling, followed by a firm rip to get the old one off!! Doesn't help that his hairs love sticking to it...
We spent the evening up at the top of the garden - in Chickoland (which I've mentioned before) with a bonfire, and cooked sausages and jacket potatoes up there. Lovely. It's so nice to have that bit of land 'spare' where we don't have to worry about keeping it tidy, mowed, weeded. It's the closest I'll ever get to camping too - I love the open fire and cooking on it but wouldn't relish the thought of sleeping in a tent and the lack of adequate bathroom facilities....
Lots of lovely cold Stella later, when it had got dark, we started playing the alphabet game - the first time round was lines from a song, which the next person had to complete (much hilarity as our music tastes are three generations apart so it was difficult at times to know what the song was!) and then the "My name is ***, I come from *** and I eat ***", which we ended up doing in Yorkshire accents for some reason.
Finished off a lovely day by coming in and ordering some DVDs of classic Disney films that Rom and I love - Bedknobs and Broomsticks (Treguna Macoides and Trecorum Satis De!!) Aristocats, Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and our absolute favourite - the cartoon version of Robin Hood. Can't wait for them to arrive; but I can wait for morning as I'm pretty sure Stella is going to wreak revenge on me....
Took the dogs up on Culver again this afternoon - C came along for the ride and a look off over Sandown Bay. It was lovely weather again, if a bit chilly in the breeze, and there were lots of people about making the most of it. C's been suffering a little bit today probably as a result of the biopsy as it's around the tumour site; he's also a bit sore across the diaphragm which we think is due to the cough, which is in full swing again. Rom changed the dressing on C's back this morning - not a pleasant experience as it was that really sticky stuff again and involved initial gentle peeling, followed by a firm rip to get the old one off!! Doesn't help that his hairs love sticking to it...
We spent the evening up at the top of the garden - in Chickoland (which I've mentioned before) with a bonfire, and cooked sausages and jacket potatoes up there. Lovely. It's so nice to have that bit of land 'spare' where we don't have to worry about keeping it tidy, mowed, weeded. It's the closest I'll ever get to camping too - I love the open fire and cooking on it but wouldn't relish the thought of sleeping in a tent and the lack of adequate bathroom facilities....
M
Finished off a lovely day by coming in and ordering some DVDs of classic Disney films that Rom and I love - Bedknobs and Broomsticks (Treguna Macoides and Trecorum Satis De!!) Aristocats, Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and our absolute favourite - the cartoon version of Robin Hood. Can't wait for them to arrive; but I can wait for morning as I'm pretty sure Stella is going to wreak revenge on me....
Friday 17 September 2010
D Day + 36: Friday 17 September 2010 - C is The Biopsy Man
Having checked with Sonya yesterday, C could not have anything to eat this morning - I felt so bad for him that I decided to join the 'fast' and didn't have breakfast either, well except two large cups of coffee. Ironic that his appetite hasn't been up to much recently, but the one day he actually can't eat he gets hungry....
I took the dogs up on Culver again first thing this morning - another beautiful September morning - and the air was so clear and fresh, it was really invigorating being up there. Views were amazing, more so than usual; a real 'good to be alive day' as my mum would have said.
We got C's overnight bag packed in case he had to stay in; then set off for St Mary's in time to arrive for 11.45. Went up to the ward (Whippingham, very nice, done out in a relaxing shade of lilac...) and spoke to a very nice, friendly ward clerk, who got C to a bed and answered some of our questions. Then Sonya arrived and we got the paperwork sorted, and she explained the procedure, timings etc. It's always good to know what to expect; I love a plan. She then produced two of those damn hot and sexy hospital gowns...whoar!! Or not, really...So C had to get changed (right down to the buff, I'll have you know; not something he was happy about but caused much hilarity for me as he had to keep remembering to sit with his legs crossed!!) and onto the bed to await collection. The hospital porters arrived to wheel him off a bit earlier than expected, and I promptly took myself off to the restaurant to have lunch...which sadly was the most bland and tasteless 'cheese and egg salad' that I've ever not tasted; but it filled a gap and stopped my tummy rumbling.
Back to the ward and before long C was wheeled back in - wide awake and looking distinctly un-ill! He hadn't had any sedation for the biopsy. Brave chap - personally, I'll take any kind of anasthesia going, even for taking out a splinter if I can get away with it...
The biopsy went as follows: the CT scanner was used to locate the specific biopsy area, then after 10 minutes a man appeared with a ruler and a felt tip pen to mark the spot on C's back for the doctor to aim at!! Once the skin had been cleaned with an alcohol wipe (which C says was 'cold and tingly') the doc the injected some anaesthetic, then a second injection a bit deeper, after which a large hollow needle was inserted into the area where the anaesthetic had gone. Then the doc got out his gun - which had a long, slim tube - and inserted it into the hollow needle, and then fired it twice into the tumour to grab bits of the b*****d thing - he got two chunks as a precaution. C asked to see the biopsy bits - and when I asked him how he felt about seeing the tumour 'face to face', he said he felt really angry for a short time. This feeling was however soon to be replaced by one of embarrassment, as the men reappeared with C's bed - now, to load him back on this it meant that the double doors of the CT room had to be open, and in full view of the entire Diagnostic Imaging waiting room C, in his sexy hospital gown and no underwear remember, shunted across to his bed to be wheeled back to the ward...someone in that room must have had a not very flattering view of C from, well, a not very flattering viewpoint, to be honest....
We had to wait for a while to make sure that no internal bleeding occurred on the biopsy site, so it meant a few hours on the ward. Thankfully the Ipad has Scrabble on it, so we played against each other a few times (which I won, thank you very much) and I went out for cups of tea and snacks. I also had to go out and renew the parking ticket - I got to the exit and realised I didn't have the car keys, so went back to the ward to find C ensconced with two nurses, one either side of him, while he flashed his Ipad at them...and when I got back from actually renewing the ticket they were still there!!! I don't know, show a girl your latest gadget....
We finally left the hospital at 5.15pm, having been given the all clear. This was not before C had to have the canula removed from his arm, which they hadn't needed to use, and was the entertainment highlight for me and the most painful part of the day for him - the canula had a large, very sticky, piece of protective gauze around it, and it had adhered itself nice and strongly to the long hairs on C's arm...I had thought that he was wincing big time at the canula coming out...but it was merely the sticky stuff; woos, complete woos....hilarious!!!!
Home again to C's favourite 'basic' dinner - egg and chips - cricket on the TV and a log fire; pretty normal stuff really, considering what went on today. Now we just have to wait to see the consultant on 30 September to find out the best way to treat the cancer; chemo, here we come.
I took the dogs up on Culver again first thing this morning - another beautiful September morning - and the air was so clear and fresh, it was really invigorating being up there. Views were amazing, more so than usual; a real 'good to be alive day' as my mum would have said.
We got C's overnight bag packed in case he had to stay in; then set off for St Mary's in time to arrive for 11.45. Went up to the ward (Whippingham, very nice, done out in a relaxing shade of lilac...) and spoke to a very nice, friendly ward clerk, who got C to a bed and answered some of our questions. Then Sonya arrived and we got the paperwork sorted, and she explained the procedure, timings etc. It's always good to know what to expect; I love a plan. She then produced two of those damn hot and sexy hospital gowns...whoar!! Or not, really...So C had to get changed (right down to the buff, I'll have you know; not something he was happy about but caused much hilarity for me as he had to keep remembering to sit with his legs crossed!!) and onto the bed to await collection. The hospital porters arrived to wheel him off a bit earlier than expected, and I promptly took myself off to the restaurant to have lunch...which sadly was the most bland and tasteless 'cheese and egg salad' that I've ever not tasted; but it filled a gap and stopped my tummy rumbling.
Back to the ward and before long C was wheeled back in - wide awake and looking distinctly un-ill! He hadn't had any sedation for the biopsy. Brave chap - personally, I'll take any kind of anasthesia going, even for taking out a splinter if I can get away with it...
The biopsy went as follows: the CT scanner was used to locate the specific biopsy area, then after 10 minutes a man appeared with a ruler and a felt tip pen to mark the spot on C's back for the doctor to aim at!! Once the skin had been cleaned with an alcohol wipe (which C says was 'cold and tingly') the doc the injected some anaesthetic, then a second injection a bit deeper, after which a large hollow needle was inserted into the area where the anaesthetic had gone. Then the doc got out his gun - which had a long, slim tube - and inserted it into the hollow needle, and then fired it twice into the tumour to grab bits of the b*****d thing - he got two chunks as a precaution. C asked to see the biopsy bits - and when I asked him how he felt about seeing the tumour 'face to face', he said he felt really angry for a short time. This feeling was however soon to be replaced by one of embarrassment, as the men reappeared with C's bed - now, to load him back on this it meant that the double doors of the CT room had to be open, and in full view of the entire Diagnostic Imaging waiting room C, in his sexy hospital gown and no underwear remember, shunted across to his bed to be wheeled back to the ward...someone in that room must have had a not very flattering view of C from, well, a not very flattering viewpoint, to be honest....
We had to wait for a while to make sure that no internal bleeding occurred on the biopsy site, so it meant a few hours on the ward. Thankfully the Ipad has Scrabble on it, so we played against each other a few times (which I won, thank you very much) and I went out for cups of tea and snacks. I also had to go out and renew the parking ticket - I got to the exit and realised I didn't have the car keys, so went back to the ward to find C ensconced with two nurses, one either side of him, while he flashed his Ipad at them...and when I got back from actually renewing the ticket they were still there!!! I don't know, show a girl your latest gadget....
We finally left the hospital at 5.15pm, having been given the all clear. This was not before C had to have the canula removed from his arm, which they hadn't needed to use, and was the entertainment highlight for me and the most painful part of the day for him - the canula had a large, very sticky, piece of protective gauze around it, and it had adhered itself nice and strongly to the long hairs on C's arm...I had thought that he was wincing big time at the canula coming out...but it was merely the sticky stuff; woos, complete woos....hilarious!!!!
Home again to C's favourite 'basic' dinner - egg and chips - cricket on the TV and a log fire; pretty normal stuff really, considering what went on today. Now we just have to wait to see the consultant on 30 September to find out the best way to treat the cancer; chemo, here we come.
D Day + 35: Thursday 16 September 2010 - Picnic and Tra La La
Woke up to another fabulous autumn morning; there's no doubt about it, September is a glorious month for late summer weather and it's lovely being able to make the most of it.
We decided to get out in it and packed up a picnic, then drove across to Culver Down (our absolute favourite walking spot and right on the doorstep). I am absolutely falling in love with the Land Rover as it's so good at practically everything and is great for car picnics if the weather's bad - today however we just unloaded the dogs and I traipsed off with them, while C sat in the front of Monty (that's the LR's name - I told you before that I name everything...) with the ipad doing his newfangled tracking thing of ships and planes - he's downloaded a couple of 'apps' which track aircraft and ships, so when he spots one of either he calls up the appropriate app and can find out what it's called, where it's come from and where it's going!!! Not sure if this is very security conscious...practically a hijacker's delight!!
Once we were home again I decided to mow the lawn - now this is another of those jobs that C has always done; I confess to being rubbish at it and hating every minute, but needs must and it needed to be done. The difficulty is that our 'lawn' (as really it's just a blanket of assorted weeds with the odd patch of grass poking through) is in three bits - front, lower back and upper back; the garden goes up the side of the Down in tiers, so it's not a straightforward pushing-the-Flymo-round-the-garden activity; oh no, this is full on, sweat breaking, haul-the-Flymo-up-the-steps-over-all-the-different-levels-and-alternate-where-it's-plugged-in-as-the-garden's-so-long type activity. Bugger that; I did the back lawns and left the front one for the weekend!! Thankfully C had done the obligatory PCP (Poop Clearing Patrol) prior to my mowing, so saved me one job. He did try a bit of weeding too (they've taken over lately, bloody things) but this just exhausted him so quickly he had to give up, much to his frustration. I really wish he wouldn't be so hard on himself - he's been doing so well dealing with his illness that I think he forgets he's lost weight and energy reserves and has to slow down. Learning curve here he comes....
No 2 usually arrives on Thursday late afternoon; today was no exception and he was primed to take over from me. Chich (for what is what we call him, even though he hates it and has tried, after 20 odd years, to get me to call him Chris - nope, not happening. He's called Chich because when he and No 1 were younger C and I decided that it would aid 'bonding' for us all to have nicknames and not he formal - Bren became Bernard (or Berine) and Chris Jr became Chich, which is a derivation of Chichester (because it sounded like Christopher). With me so far? Chich took over and fed the dogs, cooked dinner for me, and for him and C, and I left them happily discussing football as they usually do. So C was in very safe and welcome hands for the evening.
And tonight was choir night for me - yippee!! I love choir. Have I said this before? It's been my utter salvation for almost three years, the absolute stress buster. I've made some wonderful friends and they keep me going - I'm not sure how many of them read this blog, but I want to say thank you to them all (you know who you are H, V, R, H, T, R, L, K et al). We are doing our Christmas repertoire at the moment so everyone is still excited about the new stuff - time will tell how fed up we get with it by the time the concert arrives (which is Monday 13 December, 7.30 at Medina Theatre, by the way, in case any of you fancy coming). I do a lot of the admin stuff for the choir and absolutely love it, as well as having a trill as a soprano. We usually go to the pub afterwards as well for a catch up as we don't have time in rehearsals. By the time I get home I am really chilled and happy, which can only be a good thing.
Tra la la.....
We decided to get out in it and packed up a picnic, then drove across to Culver Down (our absolute favourite walking spot and right on the doorstep). I am absolutely falling in love with the Land Rover as it's so good at practically everything and is great for car picnics if the weather's bad - today however we just unloaded the dogs and I traipsed off with them, while C sat in the front of Monty (that's the LR's name - I told you before that I name everything...) with the ipad doing his newfangled tracking thing of ships and planes - he's downloaded a couple of 'apps' which track aircraft and ships, so when he spots one of either he calls up the appropriate app and can find out what it's called, where it's come from and where it's going!!! Not sure if this is very security conscious...practically a hijacker's delight!!
Once we were home again I decided to mow the lawn - now this is another of those jobs that C has always done; I confess to being rubbish at it and hating every minute, but needs must and it needed to be done. The difficulty is that our 'lawn' (as really it's just a blanket of assorted weeds with the odd patch of grass poking through) is in three bits - front, lower back and upper back; the garden goes up the side of the Down in tiers, so it's not a straightforward pushing-the-Flymo-round-the-garden activity; oh no, this is full on, sweat breaking, haul-the-Flymo-up-the-steps-over-all-the-different-levels-and-alternate-where-it's-plugged-in-as-the-garden's-so-long type activity. Bugger that; I did the back lawns and left the front one for the weekend!! Thankfully C had done the obligatory PCP (Poop Clearing Patrol) prior to my mowing, so saved me one job. He did try a bit of weeding too (they've taken over lately, bloody things) but this just exhausted him so quickly he had to give up, much to his frustration. I really wish he wouldn't be so hard on himself - he's been doing so well dealing with his illness that I think he forgets he's lost weight and energy reserves and has to slow down. Learning curve here he comes....
No 2 usually arrives on Thursday late afternoon; today was no exception and he was primed to take over from me. Chich (for what is what we call him, even though he hates it and has tried, after 20 odd years, to get me to call him Chris - nope, not happening. He's called Chich because when he and No 1 were younger C and I decided that it would aid 'bonding' for us all to have nicknames and not he formal - Bren became Bernard (or Berine) and Chris Jr became Chich, which is a derivation of Chichester (because it sounded like Christopher). With me so far? Chich took over and fed the dogs, cooked dinner for me, and for him and C, and I left them happily discussing football as they usually do. So C was in very safe and welcome hands for the evening.
And tonight was choir night for me - yippee!! I love choir. Have I said this before? It's been my utter salvation for almost three years, the absolute stress buster. I've made some wonderful friends and they keep me going - I'm not sure how many of them read this blog, but I want to say thank you to them all (you know who you are H, V, R, H, T, R, L, K et al). We are doing our Christmas repertoire at the moment so everyone is still excited about the new stuff - time will tell how fed up we get with it by the time the concert arrives (which is Monday 13 December, 7.30 at Medina Theatre, by the way, in case any of you fancy coming). I do a lot of the admin stuff for the choir and absolutely love it, as well as having a trill as a soprano. We usually go to the pub afterwards as well for a catch up as we don't have time in rehearsals. By the time I get home I am really chilled and happy, which can only be a good thing.
Tra la la.....
Thursday 16 September 2010
D Day + 34: Wednesday 15 September 2010 - A Pressing Day
I am struggling to remember what day it is lately - I know the date, and I know what month it is, but days merge into each other, which I guess is bound to happen once a routine is disrupted. So every day is just 'today', and is defined by whatever plan we have for that day - today there wasn't really one, although yesterday we had made a list of things we need to do so it was a case of choosing something...
I however decided to crack on with the ironing - always a pressing task in our house (see what I did there?) as we do somehow manage to get through an awful lot of clothes quite quickly. No sooner has a weekend gone by and I've caught up again, than it's come round and the laundry baskets are full up. Now I have to confess to a bit of a fetish for hanging out washing - I don't know why, and yes I know it's weird - but the tail end is that I have a huge pile of ironing to deal with. And I hate ironing. I have to be in the mood for it, and when I am it's no holds barred and just get it all done. So I spent all yesterday morning doing it, which then led to the next problem of where the hell to put all the clothes!!! Oh me......
C had a call from Sonya, his Macmillan nurse, to confirm that he will be going into hospital for a biopsy on the tumour. We have to go to the local hospital (thank goodness) for him to be admitted at 12pm on Friday and he may have to stay in overnight, depending on how things go and what sedation they need to give him. He can't have any breakfast tomorrow either, so it's going to be a bit tough keeping him going as his energy levels do tend to dip dramatically without 'little and often' eating. I have a feeling too that he's going to be difficult to keep in - he hates hospitals, and the thought of having to stay in overnight on a men's ward is likely to make him recover PDQ so he can get his a*** out of there as soon as possible!!!!
C made lunch today - I'm not letting him get out of all the chores, and to be fair he wants to do things when he can so he doesn't feel totally useless. It also means I can keep my nose to the grindstone with whatever I'm doing, so I don't always escape chores!!
Romilly came to do the shopping with me this afternoon while C 'took five' and had a rest. He's been a bit pooped again today. So off we girls went to Tesco, armed with a small list and a lot of ideas. As we were wandering around the store, which is obviously not mega exciting - seen one supermarket you've seen them all - Romilly started to make me laugh; she has this way of saying 'horse' that has me in stitches and the more she does it the funnier it gets. I don't know why, neither does she, but suffice it to say that on more than one occasion she said 'horse' and walked off, leaving me in fits of crying laughter in some aisle or other. My hysteria reached a peak when she started talking about the Ann Summers party she's having next week - now I know it may seem weird, she's 18, and she's invited lots of her 18 year old friends, to a party where you discuss, examine, purchase items of, shall we say, an erotic nature. But the mere thought of me buying anything at this party, let alone ever using it, provoked such hilarity that we couldn't move out of the milk/yoghurt/cheese aisle for quite some time. And it wasn't Romilly that found it funny, it was me!! She just creased up at my unusual prudishness...which does not happen that often, I am not easily shocked. My cheeks ached, my stomach ached, and I felt so much better having laughed so ridiculously. She's an angel that girlie of mine, so wonderful and funny, a true blessing.
Romilly had also decided that as she was home again tonight we were going to watch a film - didn't know what film, but we were bound to have one kicking around somewhere. It's always nice to have her around, and even more so lately - she has a lovely close relationship with C - something I've sadly never had with my dad, although things are better now than they have been - and to see them together is really sweet; she's very very protective of her dad and he loves her to bits, as he does all his kids. We've been very lucky the way our kids have turned out - they're all sensible, grounded, reliable adults with a strong sense of family, which is so important right now.
So not much happened today really - although I ought to mention that apart from being a bit tired, which is par for the course lately, C has been very upbeat and almost back to his BC (before cancer) self. Lovely to see.
To end I thought I'd let you have some statistics (because I can get them on this blog site!) - to date, there have been 4124 views of the blog and we are global!!! The 'audience' apparently stretches beyond the UK into Finland, France, Spain, Australia, America, Canada, Belgium, Denmark, China, Thailand, Japan and New Zealand - so thank you to everyone who checks in and I hope you all continue to do so. Please feel free to leave comments at the end of each day to let me know how I'm doing.
Until tomorrow,
K x
I however decided to crack on with the ironing - always a pressing task in our house (see what I did there?) as we do somehow manage to get through an awful lot of clothes quite quickly. No sooner has a weekend gone by and I've caught up again, than it's come round and the laundry baskets are full up. Now I have to confess to a bit of a fetish for hanging out washing - I don't know why, and yes I know it's weird - but the tail end is that I have a huge pile of ironing to deal with. And I hate ironing. I have to be in the mood for it, and when I am it's no holds barred and just get it all done. So I spent all yesterday morning doing it, which then led to the next problem of where the hell to put all the clothes!!! Oh me......
C had a call from Sonya, his Macmillan nurse, to confirm that he will be going into hospital for a biopsy on the tumour. We have to go to the local hospital (thank goodness) for him to be admitted at 12pm on Friday and he may have to stay in overnight, depending on how things go and what sedation they need to give him. He can't have any breakfast tomorrow either, so it's going to be a bit tough keeping him going as his energy levels do tend to dip dramatically without 'little and often' eating. I have a feeling too that he's going to be difficult to keep in - he hates hospitals, and the thought of having to stay in overnight on a men's ward is likely to make him recover PDQ so he can get his a*** out of there as soon as possible!!!!
C made lunch today - I'm not letting him get out of all the chores, and to be fair he wants to do things when he can so he doesn't feel totally useless. It also means I can keep my nose to the grindstone with whatever I'm doing, so I don't always escape chores!!
Romilly came to do the shopping with me this afternoon while C 'took five' and had a rest. He's been a bit pooped again today. So off we girls went to Tesco, armed with a small list and a lot of ideas. As we were wandering around the store, which is obviously not mega exciting - seen one supermarket you've seen them all - Romilly started to make me laugh; she has this way of saying 'horse' that has me in stitches and the more she does it the funnier it gets. I don't know why, neither does she, but suffice it to say that on more than one occasion she said 'horse' and walked off, leaving me in fits of crying laughter in some aisle or other. My hysteria reached a peak when she started talking about the Ann Summers party she's having next week - now I know it may seem weird, she's 18, and she's invited lots of her 18 year old friends, to a party where you discuss, examine, purchase items of, shall we say, an erotic nature. But the mere thought of me buying anything at this party, let alone ever using it, provoked such hilarity that we couldn't move out of the milk/yoghurt/cheese aisle for quite some time. And it wasn't Romilly that found it funny, it was me!! She just creased up at my unusual prudishness...which does not happen that often, I am not easily shocked. My cheeks ached, my stomach ached, and I felt so much better having laughed so ridiculously. She's an angel that girlie of mine, so wonderful and funny, a true blessing.
Romilly had also decided that as she was home again tonight we were going to watch a film - didn't know what film, but we were bound to have one kicking around somewhere. It's always nice to have her around, and even more so lately - she has a lovely close relationship with C - something I've sadly never had with my dad, although things are better now than they have been - and to see them together is really sweet; she's very very protective of her dad and he loves her to bits, as he does all his kids. We've been very lucky the way our kids have turned out - they're all sensible, grounded, reliable adults with a strong sense of family, which is so important right now.
So not much happened today really - although I ought to mention that apart from being a bit tired, which is par for the course lately, C has been very upbeat and almost back to his BC (before cancer) self. Lovely to see.
To end I thought I'd let you have some statistics (because I can get them on this blog site!) - to date, there have been 4124 views of the blog and we are global!!! The 'audience' apparently stretches beyond the UK into Finland, France, Spain, Australia, America, Canada, Belgium, Denmark, China, Thailand, Japan and New Zealand - so thank you to everyone who checks in and I hope you all continue to do so. Please feel free to leave comments at the end of each day to let me know how I'm doing.
Until tomorrow,
K x
Tuesday 14 September 2010
D Day + 33: Tuesday 14 September 2010 - "Antici.............pation" a la Frank n Furter
Today we had to return Sebastian. Shame really, C has become very attached to him!! He's been a lovely car to drive around in, once I got used to it being so flash, and it was very exciting how quickly he could accelerate away when C twitched his big toe!!!!
So we dropped him off at Esplanade and handed him back to Mark and David (who read this blog - hello!!), and went to pick up my Jemima Jaffa. C's mobile rang while we were there - Sonya, his Macmillan nurse specialist, was ringing to ask us to go in and see her at St Mary's at 2.30. We agreed, of course, but there's nothing like an unexpected, short notice meeting with your cancer nurse to give you the jitters! Lots of time to kill, so we went up to B&Q to have a look at exterior doors as we need to replace our back door (see previous blog for the damage I did to it recently...) as it's been getting gradually worse in the wet weather - trying to yank it open or kick it shut in the winter makes the house shake and is not good...We found a couple we liked, in the right size, so stored the info to check it out on the internet later.
C didn't feel like going home straight away - it would have meant lots of pacing around waiting to leave - so as we were out anyway we decided to have a drive around and lunch - we ended up at the Spyglass in Ventnor; we'd been to The Woodvale in Gurnard but they weren't open until 11am, and the little cafe we've been in on the front was closed today. So off we went. Had a cup of coffee at the Spyglass and then ordered a sandwich for lunch - very nice, but it was a bit weird as the place smells strange (wet dog/tourist?) and it got boring listening to the conversation of an elderly local sitting around the corner, and watching some bald, drunk bloke coming down off his high from Bestival....So we had lunch and got in the car, drove along the Military Road and parked up at Compton to watch some mad fools trying to surf amongst the foam and spume that was the sea!!! The ice cream man was there though, to his credit, and did a bit of trade - although I did think the guy who bought two cornets was going to end up wearing them in the very high wind....
So up to St Mary's to see Sonya. The parking at that hospital is ridiculous in the afternoon - the world and his wife descend upon it from 2pm and there are no spaces to be had; we parked along a double yellow line but bought a ticket anyway, to show willing. We had to see Sonya in the Fracture Clinic - I thought I knew where it was, but it has moved and has been refurbished; very strange...all new furnishings etc but it still looked untidy!! Sonya was a lovely and helpful as she's always been with us - she wanted to meet up face to face as she felt it was difficult to discuss things over the phone and it's been such a muck up lately that I think she wanted to be reassured, and to reassure us, that things are going to happen.
So this is where we are - BREAKING NEWS as they say! Southampton General, where the liver specialist is based, haved decided that it is "not appropriate" to operate to remove C's right kidney at the moment, because of the way the tumour is attached to the liver. They are also a bit flumoxed by the shadows/spots on his right lung, and feel that it would be prudent to deal with these before removing the primary tumour. So they are going to put him on chemotherapy initially; he is going to meet the oncologist on 30 September, and will have a kidney biopsy before that, plus blood tests, to provide all the background the oncologist will need. Sonya hoped that the biopsy will be on this Thursday, and C will have to stay in overnight for that. Then once the oncologist has seen C, he can start him on chemotherapy, which apparently will be in tablet form and he can take them at home, with monitoring from Sonya and the chemo team at St Mary's.
We came out of there and went straight up to Pathology to do the blood tests; amazing how many doors cancer opens for you - we were bumped up the waiting list to get the bloods done!!
We both felt a bit more uplifted after today's talk with Sonya - finally it seems that something will happen, things are on the move, and to know and physically see that she is on the case and concerned was a huge boost; phone calls can never replace face to face meetings where things like this are concerned.
We came home to find Romilly here wondering where we were!! Post on the hall carpet, so clearly we've been out all day - it was like explaining to you mum where you've been!!
I do worry about her; she is such a Coley she keeps things inside too much and it's like trying to get blood out of a stone getting her to talk about it all - just like her brothers, and her Dad...clearly genetic!!! Daniel came round tonight though, and I made dinner for them all, and it's been a really really lovely relaxed family evening - fire lit, dinner cooked, and now they're watching the footie...I'm happy on the computer, drinking nice wine.
What a day - many more ahead I guess, but I can't think about those until they happen.....
So we dropped him off at Esplanade and handed him back to Mark and David (who read this blog - hello!!), and went to pick up my Jemima Jaffa. C's mobile rang while we were there - Sonya, his Macmillan nurse specialist, was ringing to ask us to go in and see her at St Mary's at 2.30. We agreed, of course, but there's nothing like an unexpected, short notice meeting with your cancer nurse to give you the jitters! Lots of time to kill, so we went up to B&Q to have a look at exterior doors as we need to replace our back door (see previous blog for the damage I did to it recently...) as it's been getting gradually worse in the wet weather - trying to yank it open or kick it shut in the winter makes the house shake and is not good...We found a couple we liked, in the right size, so stored the info to check it out on the internet later.
C didn't feel like going home straight away - it would have meant lots of pacing around waiting to leave - so as we were out anyway we decided to have a drive around and lunch - we ended up at the Spyglass in Ventnor; we'd been to The Woodvale in Gurnard but they weren't open until 11am, and the little cafe we've been in on the front was closed today. So off we went. Had a cup of coffee at the Spyglass and then ordered a sandwich for lunch - very nice, but it was a bit weird as the place smells strange (wet dog/tourist?) and it got boring listening to the conversation of an elderly local sitting around the corner, and watching some bald, drunk bloke coming down off his high from Bestival....So we had lunch and got in the car, drove along the Military Road and parked up at Compton to watch some mad fools trying to surf amongst the foam and spume that was the sea!!! The ice cream man was there though, to his credit, and did a bit of trade - although I did think the guy who bought two cornets was going to end up wearing them in the very high wind....
So up to St Mary's to see Sonya. The parking at that hospital is ridiculous in the afternoon - the world and his wife descend upon it from 2pm and there are no spaces to be had; we parked along a double yellow line but bought a ticket anyway, to show willing. We had to see Sonya in the Fracture Clinic - I thought I knew where it was, but it has moved and has been refurbished; very strange...all new furnishings etc but it still looked untidy!! Sonya was a lovely and helpful as she's always been with us - she wanted to meet up face to face as she felt it was difficult to discuss things over the phone and it's been such a muck up lately that I think she wanted to be reassured, and to reassure us, that things are going to happen.
So this is where we are - BREAKING NEWS as they say! Southampton General, where the liver specialist is based, haved decided that it is "not appropriate" to operate to remove C's right kidney at the moment, because of the way the tumour is attached to the liver. They are also a bit flumoxed by the shadows/spots on his right lung, and feel that it would be prudent to deal with these before removing the primary tumour. So they are going to put him on chemotherapy initially; he is going to meet the oncologist on 30 September, and will have a kidney biopsy before that, plus blood tests, to provide all the background the oncologist will need. Sonya hoped that the biopsy will be on this Thursday, and C will have to stay in overnight for that. Then once the oncologist has seen C, he can start him on chemotherapy, which apparently will be in tablet form and he can take them at home, with monitoring from Sonya and the chemo team at St Mary's.
We came out of there and went straight up to Pathology to do the blood tests; amazing how many doors cancer opens for you - we were bumped up the waiting list to get the bloods done!!
We both felt a bit more uplifted after today's talk with Sonya - finally it seems that something will happen, things are on the move, and to know and physically see that she is on the case and concerned was a huge boost; phone calls can never replace face to face meetings where things like this are concerned.
We came home to find Romilly here wondering where we were!! Post on the hall carpet, so clearly we've been out all day - it was like explaining to you mum where you've been!!
I do worry about her; she is such a Coley she keeps things inside too much and it's like trying to get blood out of a stone getting her to talk about it all - just like her brothers, and her Dad...clearly genetic!!! Daniel came round tonight though, and I made dinner for them all, and it's been a really really lovely relaxed family evening - fire lit, dinner cooked, and now they're watching the footie...I'm happy on the computer, drinking nice wine.
What a day - many more ahead I guess, but I can't think about those until they happen.....
D Day + 32: Monday 13 September 2010 - Weere En Doorzetttt.....
So our room - Cowslip. Fantastically comfortable. Did I mention the six foot sleigh bed (I think I did, but I'll mention it again) which was so comfortable and roomy; one thing I love about posh hotels (and hospitals funnily enough) is the cotton sheets and pillowcases with crease lines in them - so cool and comfortable, and not at all a weird fetish of mine... is it?
We were debating whether to do our usual and have breakfast in the room - well it's so lovely why leave it? - but went down to the conservatory dining room instead; which was completely deserted and therefore very quiet!!! Had a lovely cooked breakfast served by a very friendly mature chap, with whom we discussed the merits of the Island as he's coming here with his caravan club in two weeks!! The hotel owner apparently has family in Cowes, which explains the multitude of Cavendish Morton paintings I spotted on the walls...
And so sadly we had to leave The Eastbury - but I would go there again at the drop of a hat as it was completely and utterly lovely.
We were debating whether to do our usual and have breakfast in the room - well it's so lovely why leave it? - but went down to the conservatory dining room instead; which was completely deserted and therefore very quiet!!! Had a lovely cooked breakfast served by a very friendly mature chap, with whom we discussed the merits of the Island as he's coming here with his caravan club in two weeks!! The hotel owner apparently has family in Cowes, which explains the multitude of Cavendish Morton paintings I spotted on the walls...
And so sadly we had to leave The Eastbury - but I would go there again at the drop of a hat as it was completely and utterly lovely.
FFarewell to Cowslip, our lovely room
Stourhead was on the agenda today - we'd been there about eight years ago with Romilly when we had a break in Dorset before; it was so beautiful then (we'd gone in April) that we decided to go again. As we got there just after opening time it was lovely and quiet, or so we thought - we parked up and just as we were preparing to get out of the car a coach full of German people arrived...needless to say it took a while to get through Reception, buy tickets and get past the large group! We spent a lovely couple of hours wandering around again; it was particularly nice to make it up to the Temple of Apollo, which is up a set of steep steps and a challenge at the best of times. C made it though, determinedly so, and it was worth it as ever. My friend Edwina had been at a wedding there on the Saturday before, and there were still rose petals on the steps...aah.
We had very nice tea/coffee and cake in the tea shop, then a browse around the shop. Back to the car and it was time to 'take five' - C was pooped and we had to think about where we were going next. Decided on Shaftesbury for a quick visit - this is the place where we'd been almost 22 years before, and saw the hotel we'd stayed at; our first trip away. We had time for a cuppa, and found a place called King Alfred's Kitchen - sounds nice, and the building was lovely and old, but once inside it quickly became clear that the waiting staff weren't interested in the customers, or the cleanliness, or making it welcoming. Three tables were left with dirty crockery on them, the one we sat at hadn't been wiped, and there were bizarrely two tables in the room without chairs around them. When the waitress arrived she looked like she should have been working in Gap and behaved like it too!!! That said, the tea and hot chocolate were nice; but we didn't stay long.
And so back to Lymington - the drive was a little subdued as the sun was nowhere to be seen and it was drizzling a bit; no topless driving today!! Sitting in the car park at the ferry terminal was quite amusing as the majority of people getting off were clearly Bestival goers on their way home - muddy wellies, rucksacks, and they all looked tired and hungry. But happy too...so good.
Home again. Sidney went ballistic with excitement, Charlie more subduedly so. Rom and Dan had managed to housesit beautifully. It was nice to get back, nice to be back in my own bed, nice to have home made tea again. We had a lovely weekend away - completely forgot about the cancer, illness, doctors, hospitals and all that guff - and just enjoyed it all. Bliss.
D Day + 31: Sunday 12 September 2010: Away We Go
So off we went on our little jaunt to Dorset this morning - weather looked like it was going to be amazing, which was a bonus considering this posh car is a convertible! The trip started none too well as we got to the end of our road and spotted Jonathon, a friend of ours, in his car and stopped for a quick hello - this did not go down too well with the chap behind Jonathon and he clearly couldn't wait while our 15 second conversation took place and proceeded to honk his horn; miserable so and so. The rest of the trip was fine, and we crossed over to Lymington and up to the New Forest, where we stopped to let the roof down - it would have been way too posey to drive across the Island with it down so it had to wait until we got away!! It was lovely driving along 'topless', the sun shining and wind in our hair (well, mine anyway, C doesn't have that much...)
We decided to take a detour to Kingston Lacy, which Jill had mentioned, and the long gravel drive up to the house (well car park) suited the flash car (which I shall now call Sebastian) a treat.... It was lovely to wander around this beautiful old house, which has been kept as it was when the last owner occupier died early last century - a timecapsule of Edwardian history. But the best view of the house was from the back, near the kitchens, as it looked so beautifully symmetrical!!
The gardens were beautiful too, especially in the warm autumn sunshine.
Having wandered around the house and gardens we decided to stay and have lunch; the restaurant is in the old stable block, and serves food made with vegetables and beef grown on the estate - C can testify to the latter's deliciousness....the veg was good too!
Back to Sebastian, rendering him topless once more, and off we went to Sherborne to find the hotel. Sherborne is a lovely old town, with fantastic buildings and centre - didn't realise there is a private boys' school there too (I did wonder why there were so many young surf dude types this far inland...) The hotel was absolutely wonderful - I can highly recommend it if you want a treat; the staff were all lovely and nothing was too much trouble, the room was gorgeously decorated, clean, comfortable and with all mod cons. We had afternoon tea in the garden (delicious - I'm getting fat) and then decided to have a wander around the town.
The hotel restaurant was closed this evening, as they were having their annual staff party ( a barbecue, smelt delicious) so we'd stopped off at the local Sainsbury's before arriving at the hotel, to stock up on nibbles etc to keep us going. Neither of us really eat much in the evenings, and we usually 'top up' at lunch times so this worked out fine. I also got some wine, but it was a little warm...needs must etc.
C had a nice hot bath in the tub in the corner of the room...not in this photo though, this was trying it for size!
Sebastian with his top off
We decided to take a detour to Kingston Lacy, which Jill had mentioned, and the long gravel drive up to the house (well car park) suited the flash car (which I shall now call Sebastian) a treat.... It was lovely to wander around this beautiful old house, which has been kept as it was when the last owner occupier died early last century - a timecapsule of Edwardian history. But the best view of the house was from the back, near the kitchens, as it looked so beautifully symmetrical!!
The gardens were beautiful too, especially in the warm autumn sunshine.
Having wandered around the house and gardens we decided to stay and have lunch; the restaurant is in the old stable block, and serves food made with vegetables and beef grown on the estate - C can testify to the latter's deliciousness....the veg was good too!
Back to Sebastian, rendering him topless once more, and off we went to Sherborne to find the hotel. Sherborne is a lovely old town, with fantastic buildings and centre - didn't realise there is a private boys' school there too (I did wonder why there were so many young surf dude types this far inland...) The hotel was absolutely wonderful - I can highly recommend it if you want a treat; the staff were all lovely and nothing was too much trouble, the room was gorgeously decorated, clean, comfortable and with all mod cons. We had afternoon tea in the garden (delicious - I'm getting fat) and then decided to have a wander around the town.
The hotel restaurant was closed this evening, as they were having their annual staff party ( a barbecue, smelt delicious) so we'd stopped off at the local Sainsbury's before arriving at the hotel, to stock up on nibbles etc to keep us going. Neither of us really eat much in the evenings, and we usually 'top up' at lunch times so this worked out fine. I also got some wine, but it was a little warm...needs must etc.
C had a nice hot bath in the tub in the corner of the room...not in this photo though, this was trying it for size!
C trying the roll top bath for size
Then we made a 'nest' on the six foot sleigh bed and watched TV/played Scrabble on the Ipad etc. A nice relaxing evening, most welcome as C was quite tired. It has been a busy day....
Saturday 11 September 2010
D Day + 30: Saturday 11 September 2010 - Realisation, Anticipation and a bit of a break...
Just starting to write today's blog and I realise it is 30 days since C got his diagnosis - THIRTY DAYS, and he still hasn't had any treatment! Is this normal? Is this acceptable? Pass on the first one but a definite no on the second. It is really hard to believe that it can be a whole month since we found out he has advanced cancer but yet still nothing has physically been done about it. It's their bloody flukey luck that he isn't in any real pain, because believe you me, if he was I'd be on someone's case big time like the pain in the ass relative everyone is scared of. Just watch me....
So that's the realisation bit; the anticipation is that we are going away tomorrow morning, overnight, for a couple of days on the mainland. We're both looking forward to it as we're booked into a lovely posh hotel and have a lovely posh car to drive there in. The car is lovely but it does daunt me a bit, as I think I mentioned before, it has a lot of buttons attached to gadgets I could never conceive would be in a car...for instance, as it's a convertible, the headrests have a warm air vent which blows heat at you when the roof's down in case you're a bit cold...OMG. I am starting to think this car was designed by a woman - just need to find the lipstick holder and a fully lit beauty mirror and I think I've sussed it. We had a trip out this morning in the posh car, over to Wootton where Jill and Arthur live (C's sister and brother in law). Spent a lovely hour there eating teacakes smothered in butter (yum) and borrowing their guide book for NT places, one of which is Stourhead, which we visited a few years ago but is definitely going to be worth going back to. We then drove into Ryde so I could pop into Liz Earle, and I felt very self conscious getting out of this Mercedes convertible right in the middle of Union Street...I think I'm going to have to wear dark glasses tomorrow, but will this make me look even more posey?????
Rain came down this afternoon so we were set for a quiet time at home; however as the mutts hadn't been out for a couple of days due to our hectic schedule, I decided to brave the weather and take them up on Culver, our favourite walk (well, my favourite walk, the mutts would go anywhere with anyone). It was a bit breezy, with horizontal rain for a while, but nice all the same and by the time we got back to the Landy the sun had come out.
Rom came home and Daniel was not far behind, so dinner served up and then I lit the fire for us. C and I watched the 'selection process' of Strictly Come Dancing - I am absolutely outraged that the lovely, gentlemanly Anton du Beke has been paired with the atrocious (in terms of dancing) Ann Widdecombe. So unfair that ADB has the donkey yet again...he's so patient and patently polite he really should have a chance to win. Not sure if I can bear watching it now....
I've opened a bottle of lovely Prosecco for myself tonight and am enjoying it muchly. It has stopped me worrying remotely about what I need to pack for tomorrow, which currently I am planning to throw in the holdall in the morning and hope for the best!!!
So I may not be able to post a blog tomorrow - we'll be away in Dorset, leaving the homestead in the capable hands of Rom and Dan. I am slightly concerned that Charlie the dog's eyes are not going to be dealt with - Rom made heaving noises when I showed her what needs to be done and Daniel, bless him, bravely volunteered to do it instead. I will totally understand if he can't manage it, but am not looking forward to returning home on Monday to a Westie with very gummed up eyes.....
So that's the realisation bit; the anticipation is that we are going away tomorrow morning, overnight, for a couple of days on the mainland. We're both looking forward to it as we're booked into a lovely posh hotel and have a lovely posh car to drive there in. The car is lovely but it does daunt me a bit, as I think I mentioned before, it has a lot of buttons attached to gadgets I could never conceive would be in a car...for instance, as it's a convertible, the headrests have a warm air vent which blows heat at you when the roof's down in case you're a bit cold...OMG. I am starting to think this car was designed by a woman - just need to find the lipstick holder and a fully lit beauty mirror and I think I've sussed it. We had a trip out this morning in the posh car, over to Wootton where Jill and Arthur live (C's sister and brother in law). Spent a lovely hour there eating teacakes smothered in butter (yum) and borrowing their guide book for NT places, one of which is Stourhead, which we visited a few years ago but is definitely going to be worth going back to. We then drove into Ryde so I could pop into Liz Earle, and I felt very self conscious getting out of this Mercedes convertible right in the middle of Union Street...I think I'm going to have to wear dark glasses tomorrow, but will this make me look even more posey?????
Rain came down this afternoon so we were set for a quiet time at home; however as the mutts hadn't been out for a couple of days due to our hectic schedule, I decided to brave the weather and take them up on Culver, our favourite walk (well, my favourite walk, the mutts would go anywhere with anyone). It was a bit breezy, with horizontal rain for a while, but nice all the same and by the time we got back to the Landy the sun had come out.
Rom came home and Daniel was not far behind, so dinner served up and then I lit the fire for us. C and I watched the 'selection process' of Strictly Come Dancing - I am absolutely outraged that the lovely, gentlemanly Anton du Beke has been paired with the atrocious (in terms of dancing) Ann Widdecombe. So unfair that ADB has the donkey yet again...he's so patient and patently polite he really should have a chance to win. Not sure if I can bear watching it now....
I've opened a bottle of lovely Prosecco for myself tonight and am enjoying it muchly. It has stopped me worrying remotely about what I need to pack for tomorrow, which currently I am planning to throw in the holdall in the morning and hope for the best!!!
So I may not be able to post a blog tomorrow - we'll be away in Dorset, leaving the homestead in the capable hands of Rom and Dan. I am slightly concerned that Charlie the dog's eyes are not going to be dealt with - Rom made heaving noises when I showed her what needs to be done and Daniel, bless him, bravely volunteered to do it instead. I will totally understand if he can't manage it, but am not looking forward to returning home on Monday to a Westie with very gummed up eyes.....
D Day + 29: Friday 10 September 2010 - Pyromania
I think I've mentioned 'Chickoland' before, haven't I? The bit of land at the top of the garden which is in the field and is traditionally attached to our house and rented for twelve first class stamps a year? I've been clearing it recently following a long period of neglect and overgrowth - it used to be where we kept our chickens: Doris and Dilys (the bantams) and their cockerel Dave (who sadly died and was replaced by a mean son of a b**** called Dennis, who had to go as he chased me out every time I went in there...), Esther and Ethel (the white ones) and Myrtle and Mildred (the evil black ones, especially Mildred). We had a good couple of years with the birds in residence, and having fresh eggs every morning was a real treat; it also proved a good bartering tool as we would swap eggs for fresh veg which our neighbour grows, when there was an excess of either. However the chicken population slowly declined, due in part to Monsieur Reynard and his family who have been known to sneak over the Down for a scout round for an easy dinner (cheeky bugger's even come into the back garden on the off chance), some to unidentified illness when C found a couple of them dead in the coop one week - personally though I put this down the the evil Mildred, who always looked like she was sizing everyone up to see if she could 'take' them, including me! More than once she got a swipe from my broom/rake/whatever I had in my hand at the time when she chanced her arm (or should that be wing?). As Mildred was also the last remaining chicken it reinforced this view. It may seem weird to some people, but we actually buried each chook under the apple tree; I refused to consider cooking them, and I don't think C or Romilly could have eaten something we'd named. So under the tree they all went. Hence Chickoland....
Anyway, this morning I decided to do some more clearing and spent a good couple of hours tackling the overgrowth with a pair of shears, which C had kindly sharpened for me. You may think it would be easier to smash around with the strimmer - well, you'd be right, but using the shears is better for me for three reasons: (1) they're not noisy and don't use petrol or electric, (2) I don't need an in-depth training course on how to use them and manoeuvre them appropriately (courtesy of C - the strimmer's his toy and he would stand and watch me flailing around, not good), and (3) they are a fantastic way of toning up the old bingo wings! Marvellous. Of course the upshot of all this activity was that I had a huge pile of stuff that needed to be disposed of, which I choose to do in the traditional manner and have a bonfire; it doesn't go down too well when it's smokey and blows in the wrong direction however. I always try to leave it until early evening, when most people have got their washing off the line, and usually on an evening when the weather is not brilliant for sitting out, to avoid spoiling anyone's barbecue/garden party/quiet time in the garden. It's even better for me if it's raining as well, so it practically guarantees there's no-one to annoy. So I set up my fire - started it of with dry wood and built it up with old logs that we can't burn indoors (pine etc which is a bit spitty and the chimney sweep has a fit about if they go anywhere near the lounge). It was such a nice fire, so beautifully and artistically built by yours truly, that C came up and sat to admire it. Hence today's blog title - I do confess to being utterly beguiled by fire, in its role as a comforting source of heat I hasten to add; I am not about to go round setting fire to things just to see the effect, no 'arson around' here thank you. And once the base was all hot and the wood had burned down, on went all the cuttings...which produced the most smokey fire I've ever set; and right on cue the wind turned and started blowing it down across the back gardens and into the village, instead of up the field and across the Downs. Bloody typical; I only hope I didn't annoy anyone. Very satisfying for me - fire, outdoors, burning weeds - not so satisfying for any poor soul down the hill!
C had ordered himself a new basic mobile phone to use as when he got his Ipad he sent his HTC phone back; he only needs it for texts and calls as the magic Ipad does everything else. It arrived today - the Parcelforce chap arrived with it while C was out and had the pleasure of me opening the door in full gardening gear, plus sweaty face/wet hair/bits of plant attached in various places. No wonder he took a step back. So C was a happy bunny, with yet another new toy to play with; it's worth noting that this appears to be a genetic trait as all the kids are the same and go into paroxysms of ecstasy at the thought of the latest phone/computer/games system etc. Not my thing at all.
I spoke to Sonya this afternoon - she's the Macmillan Nurse Specialist who is our contact. She rang to say that she hasn't managed to speak to anyone at Southampton General Hospital about C's operation - they're all in meetings this afternoon, but she's going to try on Monday and get back to us. I told her we're going away Sunday morning so it's good in a way not to know what's happening (for a change) so we can pretend nothing is (which it isn't in terms of action plans, but is in terms of illness, if you catch my drift...). C was out at Esplanade collecting this flash car they're kindly lending us to go away in - having seen it and Googling how much it's worth I shall have no problem whatsoever refusing to drive the thing; it looks lovely, and has every kind of button for things you can imagine (C was extremely excited about this, as was Rom when she went up to have a look) which make me petrified to touch anything in case I set off the rocket boosters/ejector seat/underwater power system or whatever else it's got. Am I alone in this?????
Rom was home tonight, and sat down with us to have dinner and watch TV - this may sound boring but it doesn't happen very often as she's usually ensconced in her room using the laptop and watching American comedy programmes. We had the open fire lit (told you I love fires - I had candles lit too...) and watched the new New Tricks - a nice easy programme to sit in front of; so easy that C dropped of a few times! Ah, bless...
Anyway, this morning I decided to do some more clearing and spent a good couple of hours tackling the overgrowth with a pair of shears, which C had kindly sharpened for me. You may think it would be easier to smash around with the strimmer - well, you'd be right, but using the shears is better for me for three reasons: (1) they're not noisy and don't use petrol or electric, (2) I don't need an in-depth training course on how to use them and manoeuvre them appropriately (courtesy of C - the strimmer's his toy and he would stand and watch me flailing around, not good), and (3) they are a fantastic way of toning up the old bingo wings! Marvellous. Of course the upshot of all this activity was that I had a huge pile of stuff that needed to be disposed of, which I choose to do in the traditional manner and have a bonfire; it doesn't go down too well when it's smokey and blows in the wrong direction however. I always try to leave it until early evening, when most people have got their washing off the line, and usually on an evening when the weather is not brilliant for sitting out, to avoid spoiling anyone's barbecue/garden party/quiet time in the garden. It's even better for me if it's raining as well, so it practically guarantees there's no-one to annoy. So I set up my fire - started it of with dry wood and built it up with old logs that we can't burn indoors (pine etc which is a bit spitty and the chimney sweep has a fit about if they go anywhere near the lounge). It was such a nice fire, so beautifully and artistically built by yours truly, that C came up and sat to admire it. Hence today's blog title - I do confess to being utterly beguiled by fire, in its role as a comforting source of heat I hasten to add; I am not about to go round setting fire to things just to see the effect, no 'arson around' here thank you. And once the base was all hot and the wood had burned down, on went all the cuttings...which produced the most smokey fire I've ever set; and right on cue the wind turned and started blowing it down across the back gardens and into the village, instead of up the field and across the Downs. Bloody typical; I only hope I didn't annoy anyone. Very satisfying for me - fire, outdoors, burning weeds - not so satisfying for any poor soul down the hill!
C had ordered himself a new basic mobile phone to use as when he got his Ipad he sent his HTC phone back; he only needs it for texts and calls as the magic Ipad does everything else. It arrived today - the Parcelforce chap arrived with it while C was out and had the pleasure of me opening the door in full gardening gear, plus sweaty face/wet hair/bits of plant attached in various places. No wonder he took a step back. So C was a happy bunny, with yet another new toy to play with; it's worth noting that this appears to be a genetic trait as all the kids are the same and go into paroxysms of ecstasy at the thought of the latest phone/computer/games system etc. Not my thing at all.
I spoke to Sonya this afternoon - she's the Macmillan Nurse Specialist who is our contact. She rang to say that she hasn't managed to speak to anyone at Southampton General Hospital about C's operation - they're all in meetings this afternoon, but she's going to try on Monday and get back to us. I told her we're going away Sunday morning so it's good in a way not to know what's happening (for a change) so we can pretend nothing is (which it isn't in terms of action plans, but is in terms of illness, if you catch my drift...). C was out at Esplanade collecting this flash car they're kindly lending us to go away in - having seen it and Googling how much it's worth I shall have no problem whatsoever refusing to drive the thing; it looks lovely, and has every kind of button for things you can imagine (C was extremely excited about this, as was Rom when she went up to have a look) which make me petrified to touch anything in case I set off the rocket boosters/ejector seat/underwater power system or whatever else it's got. Am I alone in this?????
Rom was home tonight, and sat down with us to have dinner and watch TV - this may sound boring but it doesn't happen very often as she's usually ensconced in her room using the laptop and watching American comedy programmes. We had the open fire lit (told you I love fires - I had candles lit too...) and watched the new New Tricks - a nice easy programme to sit in front of; so easy that C dropped of a few times! Ah, bless...
Friday 10 September 2010
D Day + 28: Thursday 9 September 2010 - Anniversary
Our 21st wedding anniversary! Yep, it really is 21 years since we tied the knot on a gloomy, overcast day on Saturday 9 September 1989, when No 1 was 11, No 2 was 8 and No 3 was a distant twinkle...we both still had our mums, trim figures, and hopes for the future. How different things are now...
Romilly came in to us first thing with a card and a photo frame she'd put together of three photos of me and C, her and C, and all three of us. Lovely thing, and it did bring a tear to the eye; bless her.
The logs were being delivered this morning - we'd been and ordered them on Tuesday from the local wood place - they do all sorts of things up there, it's fascinating to wander around. So the guys duly turned up and managed once again to manoeuvre their Land Rover and trailer up the lane to our garage to unload - no mean feat I might tell you as the lane is narrow and there is limited space to turn round! They managed to offload a huge pile of logs and get out again unscathed - very impressive. So that left us to sort out the pile - I'd cleared out the log store and started to sort the smallest logs to barrow down and stack in it; the bigger stuff will have to stay in the garage until I've summoned the energy to get the big axe ( the 'Whomper') out and split them down a bit more. Eight barrowfuls later the store was looking nicely replenished, complete with kindling box full, and I'd had enough - red faced and sweaty is not a good look on most women, and I am no exception!
So up to the shower I went to spruce up as we were going out for lunch - we went to a lovely place in Ryde called Olivo's, which does Italian and Mediterranean food and has a lovely atmosphere (or should that be ambience?). It was quite busy, which I was surprised about for a Thursday lunchtime. There were lots of Bestival goers arriving in Ryde and we'd noticed a huge queue down at the bus station, people with huge rucksacks and camping equipment on their way into Newport.
We had a lovely lunch - thoroughly nice to get out amongst other people and treat ourselves. Afterwards Rom and I walked up into town to get a couple of bits, while C got the car and picked us up. We had a quite afternoon at home; I was getting ready to go back to choir after the summer break, which meant putting together all the new music, register, registration cards for new people, my folder, Hannah's folder etc etc. C played with his ipad and Rom went up to her room and promptly fell asleep! The young have no stamina these days.
I went off to meet Hannah (our choir director) for dinner before rehearsal; having thought I'd left plenty of time to get to Newport I managed to get caught up in huge traffic jams - a result of people arriving for Bestival and accessing various different parts of the site (about which I didn't know) so it took me a while to get through. I love the idea of Bestival, but the impact it has on us mere residents can be a little frustrating, to put it politely!
Rehearsals went really well - although it is always a bit weird singing Christmas songs at this time of year. We had nine new members - five were men!! - so lots of introductions and taking them under the wing. Hopefully they all enjoyed it - it's a bit daunting first time round - and will come back next week.
Pub after choir, as usual, and nice to catch up with news since the tour; nice as well for me to have a few hours out - although C's welfare was always on my mind, but I knew he had Nos 2 and 3, plus Dan, there to keep him company. He said it was good for him too, to spend time with someone different, so hopefully the arrangement will work.
And he's booked us to go away for a couple of days - seems like a good idea to do this while he is still relatively well; nothing too strenuous, just a nice hotel, nice restaurant, and a very posh car generously loaned by C's employers, Esplanade Garage. Bit of a treat as we haven't done this in a while!! I'm sure C's looking forward to it - it will be nice to do normal things and make the most of the opportunity; he is starting to struggle sometimes with the discomfort, though thankfully not pain, of the tumour site. He manages to stay fairly upbeat still, but it is getting increasingly difficult to stay patient and not dwell too much on the down side of the illness - we really need to get on, but while the health professionals discuss the case time and time again, with no actual action, we have no idea when that will be. I supposed while we don't know what will happen, we can almost pretend there's nothing wrong, for a little while anyway...
Romilly came in to us first thing with a card and a photo frame she'd put together of three photos of me and C, her and C, and all three of us. Lovely thing, and it did bring a tear to the eye; bless her.
The logs were being delivered this morning - we'd been and ordered them on Tuesday from the local wood place - they do all sorts of things up there, it's fascinating to wander around. So the guys duly turned up and managed once again to manoeuvre their Land Rover and trailer up the lane to our garage to unload - no mean feat I might tell you as the lane is narrow and there is limited space to turn round! They managed to offload a huge pile of logs and get out again unscathed - very impressive. So that left us to sort out the pile - I'd cleared out the log store and started to sort the smallest logs to barrow down and stack in it; the bigger stuff will have to stay in the garage until I've summoned the energy to get the big axe ( the 'Whomper') out and split them down a bit more. Eight barrowfuls later the store was looking nicely replenished, complete with kindling box full, and I'd had enough - red faced and sweaty is not a good look on most women, and I am no exception!
So up to the shower I went to spruce up as we were going out for lunch - we went to a lovely place in Ryde called Olivo's, which does Italian and Mediterranean food and has a lovely atmosphere (or should that be ambience?). It was quite busy, which I was surprised about for a Thursday lunchtime. There were lots of Bestival goers arriving in Ryde and we'd noticed a huge queue down at the bus station, people with huge rucksacks and camping equipment on their way into Newport.
We had a lovely lunch - thoroughly nice to get out amongst other people and treat ourselves. Afterwards Rom and I walked up into town to get a couple of bits, while C got the car and picked us up. We had a quite afternoon at home; I was getting ready to go back to choir after the summer break, which meant putting together all the new music, register, registration cards for new people, my folder, Hannah's folder etc etc. C played with his ipad and Rom went up to her room and promptly fell asleep! The young have no stamina these days.
I went off to meet Hannah (our choir director) for dinner before rehearsal; having thought I'd left plenty of time to get to Newport I managed to get caught up in huge traffic jams - a result of people arriving for Bestival and accessing various different parts of the site (about which I didn't know) so it took me a while to get through. I love the idea of Bestival, but the impact it has on us mere residents can be a little frustrating, to put it politely!
Rehearsals went really well - although it is always a bit weird singing Christmas songs at this time of year. We had nine new members - five were men!! - so lots of introductions and taking them under the wing. Hopefully they all enjoyed it - it's a bit daunting first time round - and will come back next week.
Pub after choir, as usual, and nice to catch up with news since the tour; nice as well for me to have a few hours out - although C's welfare was always on my mind, but I knew he had Nos 2 and 3, plus Dan, there to keep him company. He said it was good for him too, to spend time with someone different, so hopefully the arrangement will work.
And he's booked us to go away for a couple of days - seems like a good idea to do this while he is still relatively well; nothing too strenuous, just a nice hotel, nice restaurant, and a very posh car generously loaned by C's employers, Esplanade Garage. Bit of a treat as we haven't done this in a while!! I'm sure C's looking forward to it - it will be nice to do normal things and make the most of the opportunity; he is starting to struggle sometimes with the discomfort, though thankfully not pain, of the tumour site. He manages to stay fairly upbeat still, but it is getting increasingly difficult to stay patient and not dwell too much on the down side of the illness - we really need to get on, but while the health professionals discuss the case time and time again, with no actual action, we have no idea when that will be. I supposed while we don't know what will happen, we can almost pretend there's nothing wrong, for a little while anyway...
Wednesday 8 September 2010
D Day + 27: Wednesday 8 September 2010 - Show me the nearest brick wall....
I had the fidgets this morning when I woke up and decided that after breakfast (cooked, obviously, again) I was going to tackle the bit of land at the top of our garden, which we rent from the owner of the field it's in, and which has been sadly neglected since the demise of our chickens - we still call it Chickoland though, even though there are no chickens in it any more. We haven't done anything with it for a while and it's very overgrown; as it was raining this morning it seemed the perfect opportunity for a bonfire (any opportunity for a bonfire is good for me) so off I went suitably attired (looking like a bad repro of Felicity Kendal in The Good Life) armed with firelighters, matches and some dry wood. I got a nice fire going and proceeded to wreak havoc with the shears!!! So satisfying cutting through the undergrowth (or should that be overgrowth?) and piling it onto the fire; probably not so good for Brading as the ensuing smoke must have been quite overpowering down the hill....Anyhow it gave me a good couple of hours solid workout, to vent my frustrations and clear up a bit in the meantime. By the time I came back in at 12.45 I was soaking wet (from the rain and, eugh, per-spir-ra-tion), filthy and smelled like the bonfire. Straight to the shower I went...
Basically C and I have been killing time again today, waiting for a phone call from someone from Southampton General to tell us the outcome of their meeting this morning. So without meaning to we were pacing around again, hence the Chickoland venture.
We had lunch - I've upped C's protein intake as he seems to be losing weight and needs to take on board more energy in terms of food - and then decided to watch some crap TV (Midsomer Murders, always good to literally kill a couple of hours) and as C felt quite tired he could happily doze in front of this without actually missing anything!
He's also been investigating places to go away for a couple of nights - it seems like a good idea to take a break before treatment starts, so he's found some really nice what they call 'boutique hotels' along the south coast. Hopefully we'll go early next week, once he's decided where.
And so we were watching Midsomer Murders, and time is getting on, and we've had no phone call - here's where the brick wall (or actually the wooden back door) comes in...we'd heard nothing. So C rang our Macmillan nurse specialist, who also knew nothing and it was clear that once again NO-ONE has told ANYONE ANYTHING. I cannot believe that there was not one single person at that meeting this morning who thought they ought to ring us and tell us what happened. Not one bloody person.. Crap, absolute crap. We tried to get hold of someone at QA in Portsmouth, but no-one was available; we don't have any contact numbers for anyone at Southampton. And that was the point at which I completely, utterly and totally lost it, and took it out on our back door. Poor door. It isn't in the best of health itself and I kicked the **** out of it and hurt my toes into the bargain. I have tried very hard not to do this, as it clearly doesn't help the situation, or C, or me. But something in my brain clicked out and I went nuts. I even had to go up to the summerhouse and punch eight bells out of the futon (what is this 'eight bells' anyway???)
Thankfully C had remained calm and spoke to Sonya again and she had managed to find out that apparently the Southampton team think C's cancer is operable; but she did drive home to us both how serious the situation is when she said "...if you decide to go ahead with the surgery." Go ahead? Given the options it's the only thing to do - we are not curling up our toes and saying 'Oh dear, never mind, no nasty surgery.' No, bugger that. We're going for any chance we've got and surgery it is in the first instance, so hopefully (hahahaha) we'll get the call and get on with it. The other choice is no choice.
And so tomorrow is our 21st wedding anniversary. 21 years. We're going out for lunch somewhere nice, then normal things are happening like having logs delivered and choir starting again. I have to confess that right now our lives are like someone else's; it's not like it's happening to us, it's something out of some weird film noir where you just keep waiting for something good to happen...and wait...and wait. That's all we can do, wait. And I am not a patient person!
Basically C and I have been killing time again today, waiting for a phone call from someone from Southampton General to tell us the outcome of their meeting this morning. So without meaning to we were pacing around again, hence the Chickoland venture.
We had lunch - I've upped C's protein intake as he seems to be losing weight and needs to take on board more energy in terms of food - and then decided to watch some crap TV (Midsomer Murders, always good to literally kill a couple of hours) and as C felt quite tired he could happily doze in front of this without actually missing anything!
He's also been investigating places to go away for a couple of nights - it seems like a good idea to take a break before treatment starts, so he's found some really nice what they call 'boutique hotels' along the south coast. Hopefully we'll go early next week, once he's decided where.
And so we were watching Midsomer Murders, and time is getting on, and we've had no phone call - here's where the brick wall (or actually the wooden back door) comes in...we'd heard nothing. So C rang our Macmillan nurse specialist, who also knew nothing and it was clear that once again NO-ONE has told ANYONE ANYTHING. I cannot believe that there was not one single person at that meeting this morning who thought they ought to ring us and tell us what happened. Not one bloody person.. Crap, absolute crap. We tried to get hold of someone at QA in Portsmouth, but no-one was available; we don't have any contact numbers for anyone at Southampton. And that was the point at which I completely, utterly and totally lost it, and took it out on our back door. Poor door. It isn't in the best of health itself and I kicked the **** out of it and hurt my toes into the bargain. I have tried very hard not to do this, as it clearly doesn't help the situation, or C, or me. But something in my brain clicked out and I went nuts. I even had to go up to the summerhouse and punch eight bells out of the futon (what is this 'eight bells' anyway???)
Thankfully C had remained calm and spoke to Sonya again and she had managed to find out that apparently the Southampton team think C's cancer is operable; but she did drive home to us both how serious the situation is when she said "...if you decide to go ahead with the surgery." Go ahead? Given the options it's the only thing to do - we are not curling up our toes and saying 'Oh dear, never mind, no nasty surgery.' No, bugger that. We're going for any chance we've got and surgery it is in the first instance, so hopefully (hahahaha) we'll get the call and get on with it. The other choice is no choice.
And so tomorrow is our 21st wedding anniversary. 21 years. We're going out for lunch somewhere nice, then normal things are happening like having logs delivered and choir starting again. I have to confess that right now our lives are like someone else's; it's not like it's happening to us, it's something out of some weird film noir where you just keep waiting for something good to happen...and wait...and wait. That's all we can do, wait. And I am not a patient person!
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