Well today was a mix of up and down!
This morning C went up to the hospital, again, to get a repeat blood test done - this is to check whether his blood count is back up to normal, so he can start the cancer treatment again. He should have started last Thursday so it was a bit worrying that we had to wait. While he went off and did that I took the dogs out for a long walk - I hadn't had the chance over the weekend due to being at work with Romilly, so we went for a long tramp up on the Down behind the house, through the woods, the mud and up into the clear air; it felt brilliant to be out again, I don't realise how much I miss it until I haven't done it for a while. And they get a good run into the bargain. C got home before me!!
We were on tenterhooks a bit about the blood results - C rang the Chemo Unit to let them know that he'd been in and they promised to chase the Path Lab up for a speed result. Thankfully they did it really quickly and the blood count is up above what Dr Madhave said the minimum should be, so we can go and collect the WMD again tomorrow and get him started on Cycle 2. Mixed emotions about this though - on the one hand it's nice to know that we can get back to hitting this cancer where it hurts (i.e. cutting off its blood supply), but also realise that C may well end up feeling tired again, with no appetite, and possible high blood pressure and skin dryness. But that's just the way it is, and we'll deal with whatever comes along, as we always do.
I went into work today - I'd been warned that there was a meeting with one of the senior managers about what cuts are going to be made, and thought it best to be there to get it from the horse's mouth. And it wasn't good news. The Council has to save £17m this financial year (so between now and April), and in our Directorate alone that means that around 100 people are going to lose their jobs. It affects practically everyone, and we'll all get 'at risk of redundancy' letters this week. We'll know more about the new structure next week, and redundancies will start after the end of February. There's no way of knowing who is going to lose their job, so you can imagine how unsettling and unhappy a situation this is for all of us - I know it's bad for me, but everyone has their own cross to bear, their own concerns and anxieties, so I'm no better or worse off than the rest of my colleagues. It's a very difficult situation for everyone and, as usual, a crappy time to be told! But then I guess there's no good time to tell people they might be redundant, is there?
C was very philosophical about it, and he's right - with what we have going on, losing my job is secondary, and somehow we'll work round it if it happens to me. Six months ago I would have been dancing around in frustration and anxiety; these days I just go with the flow - I don't have any control over it, and worrying about it won't change anything, so why bother! Ah Psychology, thy name is Karen.....
Thankfully tonight I had choir to cheer me up, which it does unfailingly. It was sopranos (tops) and altos (middles) tonight and we sang up a storm. Even Gaudeter is getting better!!! But there are still a few tweaks required, and with only three weeks to go until the concert time is tight. I did have fun though; we all seemed a bit light-headed and giddy (there are other Council employees in the choir so maybe this 'que sera' attitude is spreading!) and just belted out our notes. I think Hannah was impressed...well with some of it anyway!
And so home to I'm a Celebrity...and a very tired C. It's been an up and down few days really, and I think it's got to him a bit. Nothing that a hot bath, early night, and session with the ipad can't put right though, I'm sure. Oh, and a good night's sleep....
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