...What To Do With Myself. I don't. It's weird being in this limbo, taking life one day at a time, not planning very much at all and seeing what each day brings. I've never lived like this before - I've always been so organised, so 'plan ahead', someone who knows what's going on when and where. I recently did a little thing on Facebook where people had to use the third letter of their first name to use a word to describe me - one friend who knows me well used 'organised', which usually I am; hence you can understand the turmoil of not being able to organise anything at the moment!!!! (Thanks Siobhan).
I've also started to feel fairly redundant, but in a good way; C is so much better at the moment that he's able to take more control of his drugs, which means I don't have to dole them out four times a day; he knows he's due some, and knows what to take, so is able to sort that for himself. And I'm glad about that, I really am; it just puts my role in the shade a bit as I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do - but I'm pleased about that because it means he's taken control again. He's been so much better this last couple of weeks that I'm hoping, tentatively, that the treatment is doing some good.
It's been weird these last few days (not just for the above) because Romilly hasn't been at home; not at all - she's 'house sitting' for my sister. My sister is on holiday in Devon with her family and my dad, and Romilly is 'house sitting' to look after the tortoises and the rabbit. Good for her, nice that she wants to help out; but I can't help but feel that it's more than that, and that really she wants to play house with Daniel and has got free rein there. It certainly isn't any kind of attachment to the welfare of the animals, because the rabbit was hers before Kealy took it over, and lived with us for four years, during which time Rom couldn't be bothered with it AT ALL.... So C and I are alone this week; really alone in the sense that there's no-one in the house with us at all, all week - Romilly was practically the only distraction we had! Visitors are few and far between, which I am noticing more now, but in actual fact we didn't have that many anyway so it's really not all that different.
Firework night proved its usual entertainment for us - Sidney, our rough, tough, Patterdale terrier, was an absolute quivering nervous wreck the entire weekend. He is not remotely brave when it comes to loud bangs from outside, despite what you might see of him when he's out for a walk and squares up to Alsatians and other large dogs. Nope; he's an absolute wimp when it comes to loud noises - the bathroom door banging in the wind has been responsible for sending him under our bed quivering in fright on more than on occasion. So you can imagine that over this weekend, when people have had fireworks on Friday, Saturday AND Sunday nights, it's been a bit of a jellyfest where Sid is concerned.
C went out for breakfast with Neil this morning (Sunday). Neil has been a bit under the weather lately so hasn't met up with C for a couple of weeks, so it was really nice that they've restarted this little ritual. C doesn't get out all that much with anyone other than me, so alternative company is always welcome and this was no exception. They went to Briddlesford Farm again (highly recommend their breakfast menu) and spent a nice couple of hours doing whatever men get up to when they meet up (excessive chinwagging I'd think, about ipads, cars, golf and the like). I took to the garden this morning to weed out the front border, so when they arrived back I was bent double doing justice to uprooting the all encompassing bindweed...and apparently giving a decent view of my tattoo to all and sundry. Apologies Neil, it must have been a sight.....
And so to Sunday night; it's been nice and quiet, having spent most of the day in the front garden. My dad is away in Devon, Romilly is at Kealy's, so it's just me and C; Bren did pop round to watch the footie with his dad however, which was nice for them and gave me a good excuse to disappear for a much needed soak in a hot bath. Spent the evening sat in front of the log fire, drinking wonderfully cold white wine, watching Downton Abbey and then Live at the Apollo. Ooh, c'est la vie...until I remember exactly what 'ma vie' is like these days.
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