D Day + 54: Tuesday 5 October 2010 - The War Begins

Now we're all equipped with our anti-cancer drug, it was time to launch The Weapon.  After a full breakfast (while I can still manage to get him to eat it) C was ready to take the first of his 28 day drugs - plus an anti sickness tablet to be on the safe side.  I took it out of the packet and had a good talk to it: "Now look mate, your job is to get inside my husband, find that bastard cancer and kick its ass big time; I don't care how you do it, just do it quick, do it hard and don't mess up.  We don't have another option, we're pinning our hopes on you sunshine, now go to it."  And C swallowed the tablet; something inside me lit up like a Christmas tree - after all these weeks of waiting we finally had the means at our disposal to fight back against this cancer instead of hanging in limbo.  When he swallowed that tablet it was like a victory - I know we have a long way to go, but at last we are waging war on this cancer and it felt DAMN GOOD!!!  The good thing is that he hasn't had any side effects today, apart from what he's been going through anyway, which is getting tired quite quickly.
So off we went to do the Tesco shop again (it's Tuesday then, right?) which went well and was under £100 for a change.  It does frustrate C that he can't lift the heavy shopping bags though; he worries that people will see me lugging them around and think he's mean - I counter that by saying I am not a wimpy woman and have these arm muscles for a reason, plus it's good exercise!!! And also of course if I'm lugging them down from the car, he can start putting the shopping away...score!!!
After lunch he was quite tired; he needed a toes up so went and had a power nap on the sofa while I caught up with emails and the like.  Once up and about we packed the tea making kit and took the dogs over to The Duver, a nice flat walk that C could manage.  Sidney was mental - I didn't get to take him out yesterday and boy was he ADHD on speed; never stopped running about and even did the fetching-a-stick thing which he doesn't normally do; I even got him in the water without a problem!!  We opened the hut up and I made tea, and we'd brought fruit cake; we sat outside the hut with a mug of tea and slice of cake like a couple of old dears!!! People walking past do seem quite envious though...it is lovely to sit there and watch the world go by.

Home again and time to flake; C's mate Allan (got another mention there mate) rang up for a chat and some advice about difficult customers, many of which C dealt with in his time at the dealership.  It's nice that he feels he can still be useful, it's something he struggles with as he doesn't have a lot to do these days, and Al always manages to cheer him up (thank you xxx).
Healthy dinner tonight, well for C anyway - salmon, rice and vegetables.  I was quite happy with potatoes (Kettle Chips) and grapes (chardonnay) and crap TV - I've discovered this new series called Wedding House where couples sign up for a speedy wedding of their dreams.  I love seeing how people like to get married, especially when it's something a bit different.
Romilly's out tonight, staying at Daniel's.  C has gone to bed now - he's quite tired and I've managed to convince him finally that his old routine has to go and he must listen to what his body tells him about when he needs to rest; not an easy thing to accept when he's such a creature of habit.
And I'm typing the blog - as up to date as I've been for a while.  It's been a challenge these last couple of weeks to keep up to date; I tend to forget what I did the day before so it's a team effort to remember, so it's a bonus to be able to do this now.  Someone said to me recently that I must be doing okay as the blog always sounds so cheerful and positive - well I am okay, but the blog is only a snapshot of my day and there are lots of times when I don't put in what I'm feeling or what I've done.  It's difficult to be really honest about things when you know your kids and family read what you type, so it is edited to a degree.  This story is really about C, and that's how I want to play it.  My part is minimal really, a supporting role if you like, C is the star.  And I think you'd agree, if you knew how he'd been these last seven weeks, that he truly is a star.
Night night.