Our weekend was nice and peaceful - the October weather has been amazing and I've managed to catch up with tidying the garden; C enjoys being in the sunshine, as he is starting to feel the cold more every now and then (he's commandeered my fleece gilet as an emergency wrap up against the chill). I'm also starting to get to grips with regular cooking again, something I'd got out of due to working late etc. Good in some ways (regular home cooked, healthy meals), bad in others (I'm the one doing the cooking!!). It is a challenge to know what to give C to eat, as the tablets are now starting to affect his taste buds - if something doesn't have a strong flavour to start with it now tastes of cardboard (although as far as I'm aware he's never eaten cardboard so not sure how valid the comparison is) plus if it's too hot he can't tuck in straight away. Wees are also affected, changing colour (sorry, but it's true) - just waiting to see what happens with his hair.....One week in and so far it's been okay, nothing too drastic, but it is early days yet and we are still bracing ourselves for side effects.
C went off to have breakfast with Neil at Briddlesford again (told you this would become a habit) so Romilly and I went to Newport to do some shopping, by which I mean she needed some shirts for college, but we managed to browse for other things and squeeze in lunch and a coffee. It was lovely spending a few hours with my girly, doing girly things. I love the fact that although she's 18 now, she still acts like a toddler every now and then, and I get to be mummy!
We had a lovely roast dinner on Sunday evening; Daniel was over and he always relishes them, plus as there was some of Nanny's apple pie up for grabs it was even better!! Nanny is amazing - she's my grandmother, my mum's mum, 81 years old and as sprightly and active as someone 20 years her junior. She's been the backbone of my family since I lost my lovely mum, and is always there for a cuddle and a cup of tea. She's also a very hip and trendy grandmother (and let's not forget she's a great-grandmother of nine as well) who is into Facebook and emailing jokes. Amazing. And she makes amazing apple pies as well, and cakes; I always remember as a child, whenever I stayed at Nanny's house there was always supper (fruit cocktail and Dream Topping in posh glass dishes) and cakes for snacks, kept in a three-tier plastic box in the kitchen. My most favourite was what we all call Donk; a kind of cross between cake and pudding, full of sultanas and topped with brown sugar...haven't had that for years (hint). As a kind of weird coincidence C has known Nanny for years too - in fact she introduced me to him!! Nanny worked at the same garage that C did, both were there for years, and I got a job at their Sandown branch where C was manager. And the rest, as they say, is history....
C's struggled lately with The Cough - he's had this cough for two years now, and it now appears to be linked to the cancer, as there are small spots of it in his right lung; unfortunately this was never picked up before. It's been an ongoing issue for him and has not gone away; somehow it seems more relevant now though - before it was just annoying, now it's part of his illness and is just upsetting. Having spoken to Sonya again, she recommends seeing our GP and getting him to refer C for a chest scan...bit of a roundabout way of doing it maybe but there you go; plus, if it is due to the cancer, what exactly can they do that they're not already? We can't quite identify what triggers it either - he doesn't cough ALL the time, something sets it off. He does the slow breathing technique I've been drumming into him, which helps to relax him, but the cough is still there, lurking, like a big beastie in the dark....
...a bit like a black elephant, which leads me to the question of The Elephant in the Room - what if the worst happens? It's something we don't want to contemplate, acknowledge or discuss, but we have touched on it lately. I am firmly of the opinion that if you don't 'put it out there' it won't happen, so talking about something so awful is a big no no for me. But we did talk about it a little, and somehow it seemed to lift the shadow and we both felt better, maybe because now we can ignore it again - it's been acknowledged, now put it back in the box and close the lid firmly on it. C is not going anywhere anytime soon - full stop. And if I were religious I'd say Amen to that.....
No comments:
Post a Comment